Chapter 76 Simon's Pov
- Staring at myself in a mirror, I was looking at a completely different person. It's like I couldn't even recognize myself anymore. The more I looked at myself, the more I got frustrated with myself and my actions. I can't even undo what I have done. If Jackson ever knew the reason why I spoke to Athena that way, I'm sure he wouldn't be too happy with me or find out the girl I love is an enemy, that would be two strikes. I'm such a weakling, I can't even confess to the girl I like, instead, I resort to annoying her every time she comes here because I'm afraid of rejection and what my family would say. I will be viewed as a traitor brother who went against him just for love. I just wish Lauren was not from the Neville family then it would have been easier.
- It's like I was caught in a web and couldn't escape. Jackson was giving me the cold shoulder, things have been a little awkward with Amelia but that is a fault on my own part since I have been avoiding her like a plague. She tries to start up a conversation with me but I shoot it down claiming that I have something to do. I don't know why I was acting that way, I knew she meant well but I couldn't bring myself to risk hurting the Alpha's mate and Luna but still, she doesn't relent. Amelia tries to talk to me every day and I have been acting like a total jerk to her. She didn't deserve the silent treatment I was giving her. Amelia didn't do anything wrong, she was only being nice to me. I was keeping my distance, I didn't want Jackson to misunderstand and think that I was hurting his Luna. I have already done enough damage to Athena, I don't want to add more problems to the one that I already have. I felt like a black sheep in the family. I have been trying to stay off everyone's radar. Amelia has been trying to convince me to hang with everybody. She said that I didn't commit a heinous crime but I saw it as one. I couldn't imagine trying to justify my actions. The only thing that is keeping me calm and sane is the thought of seeing Lauren again. I wonder why she hasn't visited yet, it's so unlike her. She comes back after two days of visitation, and I have studied her schedule. Some people may think it's creepy but that shows how much I love her even though she doesn't feel the same way about me. Sometimes I sneak off to watch her train with her brother in their private training arena. Maybe if I was the Beta of this Pack, Lauren would look at me but I know that wasn't for me. No matter how hard I try, I will never be fit to be the Beta of this Pack. I was too childish and I tended to take things too unserious and that quality isn't fit for a Beta. Drake is the perfect candidate and not me and I wouldn't have it any other way. If I have to get Lauren to love me, I have to quit being annoying to her. I have to show her that I have a true love for her even though her father may be against us but I don't care, that demon was the least of my problems. The only problem I have now is how to get Lauren to actually love me without coming off as weird. I would have asked for Athena's help but I can't stand in front of her without fidgeting or feeling bad about what I did. She was my partner in crime but now I have lost that. Athena acts normal with me as if I didn't say anything horrible against her and that actually scares me. I have apologized for what I did. I was expecting her to get a little angry or at least hold a grudge but she did none of those. I was expecting our training to be filled with brutality and violence but Athena went at her steady pace, her face so calm, devoid of any emotion. I told Drake about this but he said I was being paranoid. I knew Athena and I know there is no way I didn't hurt her feelings with what I said. Her actions are making me paranoid.
- Whenever she is close, I feel like she wants to get back at me for what I said. I have been making sure that I lock my room very well and sleep with one eye open. She is like a ticking time bomb. Athena's beautiful and innocent face is deceiving and I don't want to be a victim of her craziness.