Chapter 65 Amelia's Pov
- I look back to how my life was in Crescent Pack and my life here in Blood Moon Pack, I wouldn't say that now was perfect but I can say that I don't look like death itself. I no longer looked sickly. At least here in Blood Moon Pack, I had the liberty to do what I wanted even though Jackson still doesn't let me go outside with or without protection. For now, I am to stay indoors, anything I want will be granted to me. I wasn't complaining though, ever since I heard about the terrible news, I have been scared to even walk out alone, who knew when they were walking around but Jackson assured me that I was safe, as long as I remained within the walls of the Palace. He didn't need casualties anymore. He was going to protect his people, his Pack.
- I feel myself liking Jackson little by little. He is so passionate about what he wants and he cares about the safety of his people. He is truly an Alpha. Elliot was the definition of a useless Alpha, he only cared about being wealthy, and he never cared about his people. I don't understand why the Councilmen don't do anything concerning him. He burnt down a village that was so poor and couldn't pay the taxes. He said that they were a nuisance to his Pack. Instead of helping the people, they were sapping them dry. I had been there when the village burnt to the ground. I watched him that night, standing on the balcony as he laughed when he heard the screams of the people. He was a tyrant and didn't deserve to be an Alpha, both him and his brother while Jackson was the opposite of them. He made sure that his people were fed, clothed, and sheltered. He didn't want anyone to lack in his Pack, no matter how little it was. This was why he was loved by the people, even though they had been revolting by his choice of Luna. The thought of not accepting me weighed me down sometimes but Jackson has assured me countless times that nothing that anyone said would make them change his mind, that I was bound to him and he was mine. But lately, he keeps on asking if I will leave him when I find my Pack. I always don't give him an answer because I don't have one myself. I am in a conflicted situation and what I feel for Jackson is getting strong to the point that it scared me. Whenever he is near me, I feel my heart pounding, and when he touches me, even if it is just a brush against the skin my whole body is ignited on fire. There is this insatiable want I have for him but I need to find my Pack too. I don't think I can be separated from Jackson though. If he had asked me this question when he first brought me here, I would have answered him, yes, without even batting an eyelid but whenever he asked that question now, I find myself trapped that I don't even know what to say.
- When I look into his eyes, I see that he is scared that I will leave him one day. I am also scared that I will be caught up in two options, finding my people or following my heart. I don't know what is wrong with me, Karla had told me that I should follow my heart. Besides, even if I find my Pack, she said how sure am I that I will be accepted? Karla's question made me question myself too. Would I be a nobody forever? What she said was true, what if I find my Pack through Jackson's help, would they even accept me? Are they even bothered that I disappeared years ago? They never made an effort to look for me. Maybe I was going to be alone in this world. Who even knew if my parents were still alive, and even if they were, if I hadn't been replaced by another sibling? Even if I have no siblings, would they even love me? I would have to start all over again to learn their characters, trying to fit in, trying to get people to like me which by the way was never easy because for some reason, whenever I meet someone they always have this unspoken hatred for me. It's like a curse was tattooed on my forehead, that was why I kept pushing Jackson away, so that he would not break my heart. Already the councilmen aren't happy with his choice of Luna and wanted Lauren Neville as the Luna of Blood Moon Pack. I wouldn't blame them, Lauren was the embodiment of perfection. She had it all, the beauty, the power, the money, and not to mention the perfect family. Her parents loved her so much. She had a perfect life growing up whereas I had nothing, but I would make sure that my life would take a huge turn very soon.