Chapter 55 Lauren's Pov

• I was tired and fed up with being the only one with a witty responsibility in the family. I envied my brother a lot. Even though he has been accused of sexual assault and using drugs which he denied countless times, I still wish that he was a little bit like what Father wanted and not a scapegoat that he wanted him to be in case anything went wrong. He may be a moron and acts aloof all the time but at least he had one thing that I didn't have, freedom.
• The metallic taste in my mouth was not pleasant and kept bothering me. I tried to get up but it seemed like every attempt I made was futile. I ached all over. The beating I received, and the bruises all over my body were really agonizing. I couldn't feel my bones at all. It was like my whole body was on fire. His laugh as he had fun breaking me little by little wanting to turn me into a version of himself. It was always hell when I did what he didn't order, if I went against his will, he would punish me severely. There was no mercy for me. If he heard a plea coming from my mouth, he would make sure that he would double the punishment, giving triple of what I received. It made me so envious of my brother. He was always given a loose hand. Father never mounted any pressure on him even though he was older than me. It was like all the responsibility was dumped on my head and shoulder.
• I never had to do anything wrong, I have to be perfect. He always wanted a daughter and never a son. According to what he said, women are more strong-willed than men. I don't know how that applies to me but whatever that made me happy wasn't an option in my family. They reminded me every day of my responsibility and how I was the golden child who didn't make any mistakes or feel weak. My father was a monster and a beast. Going against him scared the hell out of me. I never refused anything that he asked me to do. I always did it without any questions asked. I never want to get beaten up. He says it's his way of training me and making me strong when I become Luna so that no one will dare question my authority. He started training me when I was still six and my brother nine but he didn't train him like he did me, saying that I have always been born with a greater gift than my brother but I knew that he was just playing favorites. He never loved him, he was just a disappointment of a son to my father. There was nothing more that irked him besides being a failure, that was why he hated Simon so much and not just the fact that Simon always called him Demon, instead of his real name. One of the main reasons was that he pushed being the Beta of Blood Moon Pack to Drake, their best friend saying that he didn't want such responsibility, and he wasn't up to the task. That made my father have an unspeakable strong hatred for Simon. He said that power was handed to him on a platter but he turned it down, shifting it to another person who had no relation to Alpha Jackson's family. But maybe that was how the Moon goddess wanted it, but knowing my father, he didn't want to hear such and I have never mentioned it to him for fear of getting beaten up.