Chapter 30 Amelia's Pov

• To say I was shocked was an understatement. I was surprised, too stunned to speak as I never expected this. I wonder what made him have a change of heart? Anyway, that is none of my business, he brought this upon himself. I was just a puppet in his sick game. Who would have thought that Crane would be looking for me? According to Karla's letter, he is pestering her if I am keeping in touch with her.
• Huh! What a hypocrite. If only I could go back in time, I would avoid Crane like a plague. He is so twisted, with his sick brother, both of them are crazy. Why the hell would he reject me and also want me at the same time? Do I look like a freaking object to him that he can just toss aside and later when you need it, you can pick it up? I have feelings and emotions. I loved Crane and he shattered my heart without even looking back and now he has the guts to ask Karla about my whereabouts. There must be some screws in his head if he is looking for me. As if betraying my trust was not enough for him, what more does he want from me before he can let me go? What did I even see in Crane that made me madly in love with him? I was willing to elope with him when we were still 13 and I was being bullied constantly. He suggested that we run away together somewhere in the nice countryside with just green fields surrounding us. It was like one of the dreams I wanted to achieve and I was ready to do anything for Crane as long as I could. I wanted to make him more in love with me. I put Crane's happiness first before mine but the one time I needed him, he turned his back on me. He can go to hell for all I care. I told Karla I didn't want to hear about Crane in our letters anymore, it puts me in a foul mood throughout that day and I was not ready to lash out at anyone again. I don't want to be tagged as the bitchy and rude Luna, I didn't want any drama in my life. Athena was already giving me enough drama and headache with the way she had been acting, all sneaky, staring at me without reason. It's really creepy and annoying not to mention that Lucy really thinks that she can trample all over me because I am Packless and wolfless. She doesn't know who she is dealing with. Jackson was right, this wasn't a time to be weak and lax, wallowing in self-pity. I'm done doing that, I need to be strong and stop thinking about Crane. He broke my heart, I should move on from it and set my heart firm. I wouldn't let any other man hurt me like Crane did.
• I'm not sure I even believe in love any longer. The more I think about it, just the thought of it irritates me and I wasn't going to be a victim to that anymore.