Chapter 19 Amelia's Pov

• The level of my unhappiness keeps increasing. I am slowly sinking into depression. Whenever I think about my life, I wonder where I went wrong with the Moon goddess. Of all the things she had to take away from me, why did it have to be my ability to transform? I always dream about running up the mountains during the snowy season, my fur covered in thick snow as I ran with my mate. Whenever I look through my window and see the wolves from Blood Moon Pack training during the morning hours or in the evening in their wolf form, this jealousy surges through me as I see different colors of wolves in different sizes, with different fighting skills, different agility, and different resilience. I wonder if I can ever be normal and be like that. Was I even classified as a werewolf or was I just nothing? I can't even feel my inner wolf, I can't even growl. Where did I go wrong with the Moon goddess? Was my mother evil? Was my father not a good person? Is that why I am being punished so severely like this? I have never felt so alone in my life. Can anyone liberate me from this emotional turmoil? Would I ever transform? Would I ever run up the mountains in my wolf form? even if I give birth and still be wolfless, what exactly can I teach my children? I have nothing to offer to them. What if one of them is also wolfless like their mother? I can't subject them to such that will lead to bullying. I know what I went through in Crescent Pack, even though I wasn't introduced to the ranking of an Omega, I was still abused badly. I was bullied daily by different wolves, despite being servants just like I was. I would never want my children to go through such. Even if their father is an Alpha and a powerful one at that, I can never give birth to Jackson's children, I won't allow it. He may try his possible best to protect them but it is just inevitable. If the moon goddess could turn her back on me, what stops her from turning her back on my children? I wouldn't want to put Jackson in a tight situation, no matter how annoying he is and how persistent he is, it just won't work. I don't even know why he was talking about that like it is happening anytime soon. The alpha should just save himself the trouble and not try to get me pregnant rather, he should find an eligible wolf from an elite class to bear his children because I Amelia, have nothing to offer. If my ex-mate could reject me, my parents abandon me, not even making an effort to look for me despite being snatched away from the Pack, what would stop Jackson from turning his back on me and my children? That was a risk I was not willing to take no matter how stubborn he was.
• A tear rolled down my cheek before I could wipe it, and a folded pink hanky appeared in front of my face.
• "You shouldn't cry, Miss Amelia. Wipe Your tears."