Chapter 50 Amelia Pov

• I was losing this fight so terribly. My whole body was sore and I was aching terribly. It was like hot coals were poured all over my body. I felt myself going weak, I felt like giving up. I couldn't go on like this. This was just plain torture. I never signed up for this. I have always wanted a wonderful life. This was far from being soft. Does he have to be so rough with me? I can feel my legs wobbling, and my knees shaking. I had no strength left in me but he urged me to keep on going and that it would be done in a matter of seconds and I would be released but seconds turned into minutes and slowly turned into hours but we still kept on going I couldn't even count how many times I almost succumbed but he kept on pulling me up what was wrong with this Alpha is like he never got tired I was drenched in sweat my breathing labored as I tried to keep my eyes open. I needed to be strong. There was no way I was going to lose. He would think I was weak and couldn't handle it but there was no way I was weak. I haven't done this before so this was all new to me. The least he can be is try to be a little gentle but I know that he's putting all his anger on the anger of taking Athena out of the house, both of us unguarded and open to any possible attack, and also for the fact that I undermined his authority by sneaking out and not being remorseful about it, arguing with him about why he tried to help me see reasons. That all added to his anger so there was no way that Jackson would be any gentle with me at this moment. He was at a fast pace and I couldn't even stop him.
• It's not like I haven't gotten his message loud and clear, there was no way I was stepping foot out of this house again without Simon, Drake, and him by my side. One trauma is enough for me. I was not going to feel that again. I have been trying to get Athena to talk to me. I have apologized countless times and bought her many gifts but she still doesn't budge. My best friend finds the situation very funny. She said I finally got a taste of my own medicine, but it wasn't funny. I hated the feeling of being rejected. It has happened to me once, the second time was not funny. After she saved me from getting slapped by Lauren, that b****I thought we would go back to as we used to be but instead that made her keep her distance even more. When I tried to ask her why she saved me, she didn't have a valid reason and just said she felt like it and I shouldn't read too much into it. I was nothing to her, we were not friends and neither would we ever become one again, not after I treated her like some disgusting monster that needed help.
• It made me reflect on what I did and I can say that it was not even my proudest moment. I was ashamed of myself, I confided in Simon about what happened and he seemed truly surprised. I thought he knew with the way he was always consoling Athena, even Drake who had returned from his long trip also seemed surprised. They all thought Lucy had something to do with Athena's gloomy behavior. According to Drake, he said he often heard Athena crying nowadays. That made me feel really bad. I can't believe I was so heartless to somebody who saved me that was why I understood Alpha Jackson's anger towards me. Even when I accused him of cheating with Lauren, he still remained calm. Ever since that day, he raised his hand almost to hit me, he has been comforting himself. He never let himself get unnecessarily angry and that was one thing I admired about him, his self-control. Karla has been telling me that I should stop giving him a hard time and just try to see the good in him. Maybe I would even start falling for him but I doubt that is even happening anytime soon.