Chapter 90 Nikki

• This week went by in a blur. I spent Sunday training with the junior warriors of the Desert Moon Pack. It felt good to give my muscles a true work-out. Classes are going good, this first semester feels more like a repeat of my senior year. I am still journaling everyday and this week at counseling was intense. We talked about the attempted assault over the weekend and then we talked about my mom’s death.
• I had a really bad moment on Wednesday after classes when I was alone in my apartment. I had thoughts of what it would be like to be dead like my parents. Were they happy? Did the Goddess allow them to see how my life is going? Were they proud of me for trying to move on with my life? Was I really moving on with Frankie coming to visit? Was I holding him back from preparing to meet his mate? I cried for hours.
• Then Gideon came for the evening and pulled me out of my despair. “It’s ok little one, you can be sad for all you’ve been through. Just don’t live in your sadness. Your parents wouldn’t want that kind of life for you. When you are feeling your worst, look at that bracelet your boyfriend gave you, those words are the truth. ‘You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.’ You are a survivor and not a victim,” Gideon told me. Then he gave me a bone crushing hug.