Chapter 49

• After a night of several interrupted hours of sleep or practically total wakefulness, Dominic Lombardo had come to an important conclusion that morning: he needed to put some distance between himself and Alessandra. The pain he felt when she reproached him for everything, he never wanted to feel it again; the pain he experienced when he saw her cry, he never wanted to relive it again; just remembering her face of disappointment, of disillusionment, made his chest tighten. He was going through everything he once swore not to feel, and only distance could dissipate his suffering.
• It would be difficult, yes, because he loved having her close. By now, being in the same room with her alone was not healthy, it was harmful. He was so weak and foolish in her presence. He didn't think, he didn't reason, he didn't even consider what he was doing. She had him spellbound, enchanted, absolutely captivated, and all of that worried him. He felt she had huge power over him, but above all, he was terrified of losing control of himself, of his decisions, of his actions, all because of a woman, because of that woman, because she was the only one who could make him feel like that.
• They were both on the jet, on their way to London. The only words they had exchanged that day were a simple and formal "Good morning." From then on, they didn't look at each other, nor did they speak. They were lost in their thoughts, sitting at different ends, as if they had agreed to keep their distance. After much thinking and pondering, they had come to the same conclusion: they would not stay close to each other, they would not look at each other more than necessary, they would not speak more than required, they would not feel, they would not desire, nothing. They couldn't afford to feel NOTHING. It was madness, of course, but it was the only thing they could think of to keep their hearts safe.