Chapter 9

• “He can choose to sever the bond if he wishes, but history has shown us that mates who do ... both die! The only other option is denial to consummate. They choose to walk away; no mark is made, no union at all, and they deny the bond completely. It will never die, and they will live lives craving what the other can give them, no matter who they end up with. Is that what you want for your son?”
• All eyes turn on Juan. So much tension in this room as the elders talk internally, so I cannot hear them. Colton paces, and I can tell he is privy to what is being said. They are his pack, after all, and two are his blood. Father and Uncle. He doesn’t seem happy, and the waves of his anger are all lapping over me and affecting my sanity. Dampening the heat, replacing it with his rage.
• I can’t take it anymore. As the minutes' tick by and my nerves fray, I feel like I may scream, an internal burst of nervous crazy whooshes out.
• “I’ll leave. I don’t want this either.” I blurt it out into the deathly silence as hysteria gets the better of me, and every single face turns to me in shocked response, like they suddenly remembered I was here in this corner.
• I know I just spoke out of turn and disrespected everyone in this room, but I’m sitting here, wearing my own dried blood, shredded emotions, and exhaustion pushing through. My head is a mess, and in the space of thirty minutes, I discovered that being a virgin doesn’t mean you cannot get crazy urges to strip naked and jump someone’s bones, even if you previously avoided that someone like the plague. I’ve pictured him naked at least twice, without even meaning to, since he gave me every one of his intimate memories, and some of those are him showering. What?
• “What?”
• Both Colton in my head and his dad verbally, in unison, and I panic that I spat this out loud.
• “It was the plan, my intentions. I mean, after my ... the umm … tonight. My turning. I was leaving. Going away, and it doesn’t have to change.” I sound insane. Babbling like a fool with verbal diarrhea and aware of the way all eyes are eating up my weak presentation of my crap contribution. I should have run when I had the chance and screwed the running ceremony.
• “That won’t break the bond. We’ll still be connected, still linked. It will make us miserable. Don’t you see? What happened tonight changed everything for both of us.” Colton sounds deflated, and I get the visual of him and Carmen kissing. Right from his head to mine and have to shake it away as insane jealously claws at my insides from out of nowhere, proving his point. Irrational, illogical, but there it is, and he didn’t even mean to project his sad thoughts about her my way.
• “Then what? Because all I am hearing is hopeless submission or death!” My anger snaps, and out of somewhere deep inside, my bravado increases and pushes me to my feet, voice firm and frustration seeping through. An inner surge of tingling electricity as my emotions flare up, and Colton looks at me oddly. Suddenly stopping and staring insanely into my eyes while furrowing his brow dramatically, screwing up that cute face.
• “They’re not amber.” He comes out with the most random reply, and I blanch at him like he has two heads and no idea what he’s talking about.
• “What?” I stammer as he paces towards me.
• “Your eyes ... when your inner wolf peaks. They’re not amber. They’re red. No one has red ... we all have amber.” He stalks towards me, grabbing my hand and spinning me to him to inspect me closely. “Show me,” he urges, and I gawp at him in bewilderment. Confused at the side-tracking of this conversation and feeling like I fell through a reality hole.
• If I knew how to do it on command, I would, but as I only transformed for the first time tonight and have no idea how to call my inner wolf into my eyes again, I stare at him, completely dumbfounded with the importance of color.
• “Why does that matter?” I know that despite the more urgent topic at hand, the Shaman has moved towards me also, and so has one of the silent elders. A formidable tall, and muscular elder whose gray-white hair is unsuccessful in lowering his intimidation levels, and he snarls my way.
• “Because you are part white, and now Cole sees red in your eyes. It matters. Now show us, or I will make you fully turn on my command, and you won’t enjoy it.” He seethes my way, full-on hostility in his tone, and I wither back, scalded and instantly fearful. Colton reacts instinctively at the veiled threat, and chaos ensues. In the blink of an eye, he’s between the elder and me, growling, eyes glowing wildly, body larger and bristling with tension as he turns to him and huskily warns him off.
• “My mate ... mine! You touch her ... I will exert my right to maim or kill to protect her. I don’t care who you are in this pack!” His tone drops to satanic levels, and I recoil behind him, seeing the ripple of spines up his back as he begins to transform aggressively. My stomach hits my knees, making me weak, unsure of what else to do as the Shaman intervenes as fear paralyzes me to the spot.
• “See. This is what happens when you delay the bond. The urge gets insane the longer you deny it. The need to protect, the need to be joined. It creates madness. Colton, be still. No one will touch your mate without your say, and we will look at her eyes in time. Breathe and come back to us.” He places a hand on his shoulder and gently brings Colton back to my side, lifting my hand and gently placing it on Colton’s before patting both and setting us down. The instant spark and warmth generated between us give me all kinds of safe and familiar vibes I’ve not known in almost ten years. Not since I last saw my parents alive and home. It seems to do the same to him as his eyes fade back to brown, and he inhales slowly, bringing peace to the aura between us. “His mate holds the key to bringing him calm. Be that now. We need to talk without you both here. Go, the room through there.”
• The Shaman points us towards an adjoining door, and Colton grasps my fingers tightly, his energy pulsing through mine, and it seems to bring him back from turning. I can’t explain it but here, holding his hand, it’s the first time I feel a connection of love for anyone in a long time. That sense of belonging that I lost the day my family left me.