Chapter 18

It’s been thirteen days since Colton left me in the forest, and I don’t think I have the will to keep trying anymore. I’m tired of life, and everything has become so mundane. Everything I thought I experienced before that day is nothing compared to how I’ve been since. It’s like my family has died all over again, and I am bereft and inconsolable. I’ve no more tears because I’ve cried so many. I’m nothing but a numb, hollow shell, and the sunlight has withdrawn from my world to leave me in eternal cold shadow.
I tried to stop the spiraling depression; I fought hard to beat this feeling of being sucked free of all life, but the Fates don’t play when you deny them. I’m not even living anymore. Such is my empty continuous state of nothing.
I robotically move from my room to kitchen, kitchen to chores, and chores to my room, day after day. I’ve nothing to say, nothing to add to the conversations around me, and nothing to do or think about beyond focusing on this eternal emptiness that I drag around day after day. It’s like a sack of boulders chained to my back, and I can’t free myself to outrun them.