Chapter 495

• I stand in the shower for an unbelievably long time. The hot water pouring down me refreshingly helps to push the nausea down. I’m aching at everything so familiar about being here, so many memories and thoughts of Jake beside me. I feel like I’ve woken inside a dream, some strange alternate reality I never left, and this feels like where I should be. It’s disconcerting and doesn’t help my emotionally confused state of mind at all.
• Fully cleansed of my shameful drunken night and drying myself, I can hear noise in the apartment. The sound of music drifting through the walls, and I know Jake must be back. I pause for a moment listening to the faint drifting of one of his favorite songs and the sound of a juicer going in the kitchen, emotion swirling in apprehension in my stomach. I’m nervous about being with him, being alone, and facing him.
• I pull on an oversized white bathrobe and wander cautiously out to the large open-plan lounge, looking around for him, holding my breath. I’m like a jittery teen going on a first date.