Chapter 116

• I lift my hand and stop him midway, with a hand over his soft lips, and close my eyes tight while I try to regain some control and attempt to rationalize. Breathing in and out and slowly counting to ten while praying my body calms down and saves me from my weakness. Colton pauses, sensing my change, and has the decency to sit still and not push me. I swear, if he did, I would lose and probably traumatize Doc with a vulgar display of porn in the infirmary. I thank the stars Colton doesn’t force my hand, even though his need is almost overpowering me.
• I turned this year so this will be my first heat, and God, it’s going to kill me if this is anything to go by. We clearly have the attraction, and every day the haze gets closer, my body will betray me like this. Maybe this is that creeping in, or perhaps it’s just the downside to imprinting so that when we get too intimate, the need to screw gets right in there. Whatever it is, it’s a reminder to stay away from him like this from now on. Close contact is a no. We can’t fight it.
• “Don’t. Some things I can’t forgive. You’re just making this messy.” I shove him back forcefully, my voice shaking and not able to breathe properly. It’s a whispering tone as I slide off his lap, standing on Jell-O legs and lightheadedness. I avoid his eyes, but Colton isn’t about to give up.