Chapter 499

• “Emma …” The pain in his voice matches mine, grabbing me so close that he’s squeezing me. “You think I would ever be that stupid again? This last week has destroyed me. Do you know how often I drove to Queens and sat a block away from your apartment, stopping myself from coming for you?.... About three times a day, every day…. I had to stop myself because I knew you didn’t want to see me, and it killed me…. I was right there, baby, when flowers were rejected and gifts thrown back. Because I hoped one of them might make you call me, and I wanted to be there as soon as you did. I swear I’ll never, ever hurt you, never betray you again…. I’m sorry, sorrier than I can ever find the words to tell you…. No one hates what I did more than me…. Please, Emma, give me one chance, and I promise you I’ll never give you another reason to leave me for the rest of our lives…. I love you. You’re all that matters to me. Nothing else is worth anything if you’re not a part of it. How you feel is everything. You’re inside of me; you’re a part of me. My heart doesn’t beat without you, baby. I need you,” he says it all, barely taking a breath, clinging to me fiercely.
• I turn in his arms and throw myself around him, taking comfort from the person I need most in the world. I still ache, and I’m still grieving for what he’s done, but I need to be here with him to heal. The wracking pain from being away from him is more unbearable than facing the pain of what he’s done to us. It’s crazy and messed up; maybe it makes me weak, but it’s the only way I can function.
• “I don’t want to leave,” I whimper, with my head buried in his neck.