Chapter 509

• I try to ignore Jake’s smug look when I stroll into the open-plan living space, finally awake from my two-hour nap on his bed. I had a tantrum on the way home, making him walk with me while I refused to get in the car as Jefferson drove alongside me at the pace of a snail. It was utterly ridiculous, but I was adamant that Jake wouldn’t tell me what to do, and he walked alongside me with hands in his pockets, daring not to argue.
• I’ve woken up feeling a hundred times angrier and more emotional. I have no clue whether it’s delayed shock or my brain unraveling slowly. I only know that I feel like breaking down and sobbing about everything and eating a lot of ice cream … with chips … and hot sauce … And maybe a bowl of pistachios too. I suddenly want food more than anything; again. Food and some damn mental rest. This is completely exhausting like I am going through some sort of grief that I can’t understand.
• He’s standing in the kitchen with a very smiley Daniel Hunter sitting across from him at the breakfast bar, and it only makes me tense up. The causal way Jake is sitting his butt against the sink sipping coffee and Daniel’s relaxed posture on the stool facing him looks so normal, unaffected, and “every day.”