Chapter 5

• Stephanie woke up feeling nauseated and weird. It must have been the late night food which she took the previous night. Shit. She didn't care for the fact that she was feeling sick the day before she would travel to New Jersey.
• Barely able to put one leg in front of the other, she went into the bathroom on bare foot to ease herself off the disturbing groaning made by her stomach. She prayed the purge wouldn’t last all day. As she remembered the junk and the wine she stuffed herself with the previous night, she smacked herself on the head. Thanks to her lack of self control, she was going to be feeling like hell when it was only twenty four hours to being on the airplane to Trenton, the capital city of New Jersey. If this weird feeling pulsing in her body persists for more than today, she would have no choice but to postpone the trip. That was something she didn't want to do. It was going to be the waste of a plans ticket and besides, she didn't want to sleep one more day in Los Angeles than planned. It was not because she hated everyone here but because even the whiff of the breeze that blew past her, rumpling her clothes and air would whisper memories of all she had lost into her ears.
• She didn't want to lose her self control and binged on such heavy amount of junk and wine like she had done last night. In fact she had not planned to but as she sat on her chair last night in the process of drawing a overview landscape drawing of Los Angeles as a tribute to the city that she had been born and was moving away from, she had suddenly been overwhelmed by all that had been away from her. It was as if time travel had happened to her and she had gone back to the moment she had lazily checked the mail from her laptop that would change her world forever. It was as if she was back in the heat of the pain, drowning in it with nothing to steady her
• She didn't know how or why it had happened She didn't know if it was the drawing that had triggered everything all over again. She thought that it was so unfair that after days of trying to be able to own herself once more, suddenly and without no warning, the betrayal became as fresh as the smell of a newly made coffee as if she was just reading the mail.
• Her mind became blank as if she was yet to come to terms with the unbelievable hurt that was done to her.
• She wondered if the happy woman she had been when Stevie, a year before, had knelt on one knee and with the kind of ring that she had always liked, had asked her to be the woman with which he could spend the rest of her life with would had ever conceived that her union with Stevie would had ended this terrible way and not with death. She knew that happy woman would not have, even though her heart had already been broken twice by two men. And because of that knowledge, she had let the tears steam down her face as she cried for the gullible woman she had been.
• She couldn’t make up her mind with what had hurt the most concerning what Stevie had done to her. Was it the fact that Stevie had cheated on her as long as he had been dating her and had not even been man enough to tell her in person but had gone through the coward way of telling her through a mail? Or was it the fact that he would say that they keep the first five years of their coming marriage childless so that they can explore each other and the world fully before being burdened by the responsibilities of parenthood but had gone to knock up another woman without being married to her and had suddenly decided to become the World Best Father. Feeling sorry for herself and this other woman because she knew Stevie would still cheat on her—after all, it was hard for a leopard to get rid of its spots—, she left her room to go downstairs into the kitchen to go stuff herself with junk and wine. She knew she would face the repercussion later but had not simply given a damn at that time. Since it was nearly midnight, no one was there to cautioned her or become worried for her. So blanketed by darkness and surrounded by silence, she tried to filled the void in her with sugar and alcohol.
• Now, in the toilet, she heaved deeply, exhaling her frustrations in the deep sign, as she steadied herself from crumbling to the toilet floor by holding the toilet rails with her left hand. That last night binging was so uncalled for but what do you expect reminiscing was so uncalled for but what do you expect a twenty four year old to do when she has been drenched
• Stephanie knew better than not to hide the fact that she was sick from her parents. Her honest nature wouldn’t allow her keep such secret from them.
• Meeting with her parents that morning wasn’t difficult as it used to be. Or at least she was lucky to have them at home and not fully engage in some official and business matters. Perhaps, it was because of the fact that they were still worried about her that made them stay at home more than necessary.
• So Stephanie first met with her mom in her room where she was seated an her work table going through a fashion catalogue. On another day, she would have been interested to look at them over her mother shoulders. But today was not other days.
• ‘Honey, are you okay?’ the older woman asked as she glanced up and saw Stephanie facial expression. Searching the face of her daughter who was standing hands akimbo in front., her eyes so like her daughter filled with worry.
• The gloomy look on Stephanie’s face had sold her out even before she could say anything yet.
• Stephanie shook her head sideways at her mom’s question.
• ‘You know you can talk to me about anything, honey. What’s the matter?’ the older woman asked again not taking her eyes off her daughter’s face. Stephanie remained mute, trying not to say a word and risk releasing all her emotions in one downpour.
• The next morning on the day she was about leaving, with her bag and luggage duly arranged to set out for airport, she watched as the people she had lived and known for the entire twenty-five years of her life lined up to say their goodbyes and blessings. The whole house maids, the chef, security men, gate keepers and then there was her parents too who kept reminding her she would always be their sweet little girl and wouldn’t cease to stop asking her if she was sure that was what she really wanted. Her respond was usually affirmative but it didn’t stop the dotting parents from asking every ten minutes interval.
• Stephanie said her goodbyes in her usual bright smile, the one she always wore as a kid and as a young teenager. Just that right then, she was concealing a lot behind the beautiful bright and radiant smile she gave everyone. She was assuring them everything was under control and that perhaps she was happy leaving. She didn’t want anyone to perceive her decision as a weak or a sentimental one hence her decision to appear calm. Her cheerful smile soon became contagious as some of those present smiled back at her as they waved at the car about to take off. Her parents too, waved at her while holding each other together in a close embrace as if Stephanie was there with them. They smiled nervously as the car gathered speed and accelerated out of the massive elegant compound yet wishing Stephanie would change her mind any moment and come back home to them in Los Angeles where she rightfully belongs.
• The flight from Los Angeles to New Jersey lasted for approximately four hours forty-four minutes covering a long distance of 2,426 miles/3,908 kilometer. When Stephanie arrived New Jersey, she was astonished at how beautiful and magnificent the place was. The tall buildings and the decorative lightening and the beautiful city view warmed her once gloomy heart. Maybe she was right after all; maybe it was a good decision leaving Los Angeles and everything about it for good. Maybe New Jersey was the miracle she prayed for. Maybe. Just maybe. different maybes thought ran through her head.
• She would make it without the help of her parents out there; she thought and smiled determ to herself. The fact she still had some money with her made her mind even stronger towards what she had set to achieve. She knew if she was to settle in New Jersey, getting an apartment first should be paramount. She was hopeful that with the twenth thousand dollar she had managed to save and was with her, she would be able to get a nice house.
• She knew the early she made calls to house agents, the earlier she would get to see one cool apartment and then the sooner she would be able to settle quickly.
• She browsed through her phone for nearby house agent contacts. Luckily, she found one who was willingly to help her out with the urgent search on her first call.
• Few minutes later the agent called back to announce his search results. Stephanie rushed out of her hotel room to meet with him.
• Luckily, for her, he had a car so it was pretty easy to scour through the busy town to locate the addresses of the houses he had found.
• Stephanie had fallen in love immediately with all of the several building choices the agent showed her. She finally settled for and rented the third floor of a three storey building which was located in a neighborhood she found to be beautiful and serene enough.