Chapter 181 Gabriel

• I had come back from another run trying to clear my head and let Aspen let off some steam. That seemed to be all he wanted to do of late. He was struggling with the issue with Esme as much as me, if not more. He wanted his mate so badly, had been waiting so long for her, and for her to be there one moment and then to be gone the next. Not only that, he was beyond pissed with me right now. Which I know was only right. I had walked away from our mate. Though, to be fair, she had done it to me first.
• Ok, I sound like a kid. Though, as I have said before, I don’t think I ever grew up, not sure I ever will. And right now I feel like shit, so if I want to act like a fucking kid I will act like a kid. Aspen is going to have to suck it up for now, I guess. This situation is not going to improve. Esme has made her decision, she has said she can't be with us and I understand why. So I need to protect myself. Aspen likely does not want to see that. He just wants his mate and that is the end of that. I want my mate too, but I know that can't happen so need to see past the fact I want her so much, and how much I am hurting, and think of ways to protect myself. Which is why I did what I did and walked away from her, saying we couldnt see each other.
• I had struggled to sleep when I eventually got to bed, tossing and turning, and then just giving up before heading to the spare room and battering the hell out of my punching bag for a while. I heard noise outside, and considering the time and the fact it was pitch dark out, it drew me to the window knwing nobody should be around. Only to see Manuel, Jake and the others chatting as they loaded cars and climbed in. I assumed on their way to travel to the airport to set off to head down to Lola’s pack to meet with her family and their twat of an Alpha. I hoped it went ok. I dread to think what awaited them.