Chapter 158 In Love

• I can’t tell how long I was in there for, but my heart was aching at my selfish request. The warm water did not take the pain away as it only reminded me of something, his touch. I reminisced on all the time that we had spent together, all the things he had done for me, all the things I was feeling and how much I wanted. We had sex, we were happy, and he made sure that I was, but was it enough?
• Well, the hurt in my heart answered that question, didn’t it? It was simply not enough to be husband and wife anymore, it was not enough to be happy anymore. I wanted so much more, I wanted what Samantha had. Tears burned my heart at my own silly confession and it clogged my chest with pain and threatened to suffocate me as I jammed my lips together, holding back from crying or giving in to the pain that only he could give me. I knew that seeing Samantha earlier had brought these thoughts to me. I could still remember the smug look she had on her face, the smile on her lips, the knowing look in her eyes as she stood and waited for him to come to her. Maybe he would have gone if I wasn’t there, maybe I was the one who was holding him back. Tears ran down my cheeks when I realized that I hated this, I hated the feeling, I hated her, I hated him, I hated myself for feeling so miserable, for feeling such pain, for wanting so much more when I had everything. Everything except his heart.
• I sniffed and swallowed hard as the pain only increased. I wiped my tears and tried not to cry out, but it was hurting me, it was killing me to even think that I didn’t own his heart and I didn’t know what to do.