Chapter 130 Never Leave Him

• The cars raced past the streets, buildings, and trees, creating a blurry view that entranced me as I stared out of the car window. My mind wandered aimlessly, and my thoughts raced uncontrollably, making it difficult for me to stay still. Each thought caused panic to well up inside me, but I managed to hold it in by reminding myself to breathe and sigh heavily when necessary.
• Why did Nate have to suddenly show up? Why now? It felt so unfair that he appeared out of nowhere just as I had found happiness with Jordan, my husband. I had finally experienced a glimpse of what love could be like, and now Nate's unexpected arrival threatened to disrupt everything. Perhaps I was getting ahead of myself, as what Jordan and I had might not be love, but I hoped it was. Shaking my head, I tried to push those thoughts aside and shifted my focus to Jordan. The streetlights cast a shadow on his face, but I could still see him clearly. His hair had grown longer, once again partially covering his face. I had the urge to run my hand through his hair and caress his face. His concerned eyes gazed at me, and the beauty within them warmed my heart. Could there really be love between us? Shaking my head again, I looked away. I turned my attention back to the road, resting my chin on my elbow, while my thoughts returned to Nate. Nate, whose real name was Nathan. How could he be Jordan's cousin when his name wasn't even Chase? Or perhaps he was a cousin from his mother's side. Regardless of the type of cousin he was, the thought of my ex and my husband being related by blood drove me mad. Did Jordan know? I didn't think so, otherwise he would have said something, and Nathan wouldn't have acted the way he did.
• I couldn't forget the look in Nathan's eyes - a mix of pain and anger. He was about to unleash his fury on me, something he had never done before. I had truly hurt him, and I took full responsibility for it. Tiana was right. I should have called him. How could I have not apologized and explained myself better? I had been consumed by guilt, unable to even think about him. On top of the countless obstacles we faced from the beginning of our marriage, I had finally found some peace and ease. I no longer had as many worries, and it was an opportunity to think about Nate. However, Jordan had taken up that space in my mind. He had become my focus, leaving no time to think about Nate. I sighed heavily as pain pierced my heart. I was just making excuses, wasn't I? No matter how I tried to justify my actions, I had done wrong, and I deserved all of Jordan's anger. The problem was, what was I supposed to say to Jordan?