Chapter 100 Lunch For Jordan

• JORDAN
• The drive to the office felt like death to me. I couldn't see anything - not the roads, the drivers, the cars, or the buildings. I was lost in a dark place, consumed by my dark thoughts and aching heart. It shouldn't hurt so much, she was just my wife, a friend I was trying to make things right with. She had no place in my heart and shouldn't affect me this way. But she did, and that anger consumed me. I had considered running after her, calling her back, or even following her to her room when she left mine. I thought about taking back my words, telling her I didn't mean any of it. Not just because we were in a good place, but because I couldn't bear to return to the dark abyss that reminded me of my pain, my life, and its inevitable end. But I did nothing, and I watched her leave, leaving behind emptiness and the faint scent of her fragrance. My anger was justified; I had every right to feel what I felt, and with each passing minute, it grew stronger.
• All I wanted was to make her happy, to make myself happy. I truly wanted to make things right, to be a better person, a good husband she could be proud of. But I also wanted her close to me, to be the one to make me better. I allowed her to change me, to bring me back to the man I used to be before tragedy struck. I let her show me the path to becoming a better person, and I let her be my peace, my joy, and my solace. How foolish I was. I let her in, and she hurt me. It was so painful to be constantly doubted, when my intentions were clear, and hurting her was the last thing on my mind.