Chapter 17 - Painful Truths

• Thomas and I are so excited at the prospect of relocating that we pretend that between now and then, there will not be a severe event. We pretend the worst isn't coming and we make plans, we talk about the people we will be when we move, the friends we will make, the life we will lead. I talk about our ideal mate and how much we hope to find them. Basically, we act like excited siblings off on an adventure.
• We talk for so long that Thomas actually falls asleep, and instead of waking him, I leave him to his rest. In the quiet that follows, I ponder my future, I'm so wrapped up in the fear of the unknown. It was easy while Thomas was awake to delude myself into thinking the coming months will be easy but deep down I knew the truth and in that time between Thomas drifting off and me falling asleep the dread was all consuming.
• I finally settled into a somewhat peaceful sleep when the cramps ripped through me again, I managed to crawl to the bathroom in silence, desperate not to wake Thomas. Once I got to the bathroom I curled into a ball holding my stomach and groaned quietly, the pains lasted longer this time, after 30 minutes of the agony I actually threw up, but they keep flowing through me, causing my to remain laying on the floor in my own vomit, I whimper lowly, still aware of Thomas in the other room sleeping peacefully. The pain eventually subsides after an hour or tọrture, I pull myself up, clean up the mess I made and jump in the shower to rinse off before returning to bed, while I am.in the shower though the cramps return and before I can register what is happening I am crying out and falling to the floor, the pain is much harder to bear for some reason. Moments after I cry out Thomas is in the shower with me, in my haste to get to the bathroom I didn't lock the door, I guess.