Chapter 1 Escape

• It was so dark when I finally made it out of the sewage pipes. Being stuck underground with no fresh air, no food or clean water was beginning to unnerve me. I could not begin to imagine where I would run to, but run, I had to.
• It had been a full week since my escape and I knew that they were looking for me. Each step I took felt like a daring plunge into the abyss, as the inky blackness swallowed any trace of familiarity. The air was heavy with a sense of foreboding sending shivers down my spine, pressing against my dirty damp clothes.
• Trying to remember to stay positive, brushing off the question of how I got here was more mentally challenging than I had anticipated. Sure, my life was not the template of perfection, but this… This is absurd.
• The moon was obscured by thick clouds and offered no guiding light and every sound the night made, sparked more fear in my heart, "Crack, crack”. My sweat beads began to glisten. Another cracking sound, even closer than the previous ones, pierced the silence.
• I stood behind a tree hoping that my heart’s excessive pounding could not be heard. The flapping wings of a bird echoed in the dead of the night and then came the calm. More cracking sounds started again, moving closer in my direction with fear coursing through my veins.
• Trying not to breathe my eyes were wide open searching for the shadow, the darkness would not allow me to see anything, so I had to rely on my senses to get by, it slowly began to crush my spirit.
• Small footsteps made their way towards me with more pronounced cracking sounds. At this point whatever beats were left in my heart were from sheer luck. I voluntarily closed my eyes to spare myself the sight of danger, a combination of the chilly night air and the mounting anxiety clung to me like a second skin, questioning me on my choice of action to run away.
• Right then, a pair of light eyes were staring at me as I slowly opened my eyes to see if I could spot anything in front of me. I jumped out in absolute terror. It took me a while to realise that I had scared an animal away, that was when relief clouded me like a stormy day bringing with it a new sense of happiness.
• It was only an animal my mind kept reminding me. Staying there was not an option, I had to keep moving, making my way slowly in the dark, the situation urging me to run, but reality reminded me that I could not see anything, and more importantly, I had no idea where I was.
• Perhaps it was the fear for somehow it seemed like it was growing even darker around me and walking was getting harder and harder with every step. At this specific moment, I found appreciation for how brave blind people were. Never knowing what their surroundings look like, yet it did not deter them from living.
• The thought of Paul finding me, made my stomach churn along with unfarmable fear dancing in my cheeks, I found the will to go on, igniting a fire within me to defy the chains of hopelessness he had once bound me with.
• I took in a deep breath and exhaled like an amateur. “OK Regina,” I said to myself. “Pretend you are blind. You have come this far; you can do this.”
• Making self-motivation my friend, I knew we were going to make it out alive because we only had each other to rely on. The self-motivation helped me, for by the end of the night when the light came out, I was a considerable distance away from the maintenance station.
• All I could do now was walk, look around and walk some more until I stumbled upon a pond tucked away by the willow trees.
• Almost immediately I wanted to head over for something to drink. I crouched as my eyes darted around to see if there were any human beings. My hands trembled as I dipped my fingers into the cool water.
• I washed my hands trying to remove the dirt stains first so that I could have a drink, yet I could not find the will to take in the water. The pungent scent of algae and earth wafted up, assaulting my nostrils, and adding another layer of hesitation to my internal struggle.
• I desperately needed the nourishment, but the nagging thought of germs gripped my thought line, could I afford to get sick in the middle of nowhere? Sitting by the bank while contemplating, I scooped up some water again, my parched throat crying out for relief.
• All I needed was just one sip to help my body along, but the nagging thought of germs gnawed in my mind, still urging caution. I closed my eyes and raised the now half-empty cupped hand of water to my mouth.
• I stuck my tongue out for a taste and quite frankly watching paint dry was a faster process compared to my attempt.
• The filthiness of the water was too apparent and the risk too great to ignore. My tongue hovered over the water and then touched my damp palm, immediately the saliva in my mouth came rushing out, sending shock waves through my body about the possibility of drinking water.
• But I just couldn’t drink it, there was no more use in trying, no matter how thirsty I was. Frustration and disappointment flooded my senses as I closed my eyes, letting the remaining droplets slip through my fingers and back into the pond in one solid movement.
• It was early morning and I was by the water, I might as well wash to rid myself of the awful sewage smell. Even if I wasn’t going to be one hundred percent clean at least I would not smell as bad.
• The late morning sun was what warmed me from the chilly bath, I could feel the warmth penetrate my soul. The funny thing is that I started humming, labouring to wash my clothes with no detergent brought me a sense of joy. However, there was nothing joyous about my situation other than the fact that I had finally managed to run away from Paul.
• It was the joy of freedom.
• I lay my clothes on a rock that received direct sunlight, then walked around the surroundings in my underwear. It was liberating, to think back then how shy of my body I used to be. The amount of weight I had lost over the past months made me think of a floral dress I owned that I stopped wearing because of the weight gain.
• A grin joined my face, and my facial muscles tore away at my skin. I always loved that dress, and now the possibility of wearing it again gave me one more thing to look forward to.
• In fact, when I am going to make a real effort to doll myself up and wear my nicest heels. Eat a great schnitzel and drink my favourite wine. Yes, I can! I am free and there is no more Paul. I channelled my resentment into a relentless pursuit of freedom.
• In recent times, my life revolved around me guessing the time, I placed the time for around midday when the sun was at its hottest and my strength subsequently almost depleted. I had berries for lunch and they tasted really good even though they had absolutely no substance to assist me in regaining my energy it was a happy-free meal.
• The berries looked harmless enough for me to consume the unknown without the thought of poisoning myself. The determination to make it back home started flooding my mind again as I lay next to my clothes taking in the sun.
• I imagined that I was lying on a beach, tanning enjoying my life again. When my clothes felt dry, I got dressed, thirst still gnawed at me, but I pushed it aside to focus on the urgency of my journey to somewhere, anywhere the road would lead me.
• Anywhere where I could get help.
• I walked against the sun, feeling my body dehydrate even more with every second that passed, with every step I took. My head was beginning to feel dizzy and when I touched my lips, they were chapped beyond any level I had known.
• I searched in my mind for a happier time, my heart yearning for the warmth of companionship from someone I could trust. Then I remembered my favourite matt lipstick that I swore by, a beauty secret that never let me down.
• The mere thought of it offered a glimmer of solace in the desolate landscape. Just before dark, I stumbled upon a petrol station on the other side of the road. I waited for it to get dark before crossing over.
• It seemed like a safe enough place to spend the night and likely to have clean water. As soon as the darkness clouded the sky, I walked over to the side trying not to be seen, I had already spotted the tap next to the shed.
• Time wasting was not on the menu. The water was crisp, clean, and cool. It tasted so good, and I drank it like a fish. I drank so much that I eluded myself into thinking that I was full, and I wouldn’t need to worry about food. Unfortunately, the smell of pie emanating coming from inside called my bloating a bluff.
• No amount of water could replace the need for food. I slipped into the unlocked shed, making as little noise as possible. The air was heavy with the smell of dust, and in the corner was a desk with an old leather chair.
• The rest of the space was taken up by boxes and some miscellaneous items. Next to the window was a rusty navy-blue locker with large patches of chipped paint, I found some batting material inside and made it my blanket for the night.