Chapter 3

• After a while, he knocked on the door and I let him in.
• "I've prepared a hot bath for you. I've come for a couple of towels for you and clothes for when you come out of the shower," he said from the door.
• "Have I not told you that this is not necessary? I'm fine."
• "You're not fine, don't deny your mood."
• "I would feel better if you left my house."
• Max laughed as if he had told a joke. A joke that he didn't seem to let go of. He went straight to the only dresser in the room and started rummaging through it. When I saw him reach for the drawer of my underwear and take a nude-colored panty, I yelled.
• "Hey, don't touch that!"
• I jumped out of bed and snatched the garment from him, taken aback by his familiarity.
• "It's not something I haven't seen before. In fact, I think I saw the same panty on a girl I slept with three days ago," he smiled, unfazed by my astonishment.
• "So you go around remembering the color of the panties that pass through your life. How interesting you turned out to be, Max."
• "I can be more interesting than you think."
• "Tell me I didn't let a pervert into my house," I feared.
• "Not at all. I don't intend to harass a frightened deer."
• "Frightened deer?"
• "You have the biggest and most delicate eyes I've ever seen in my life. I've never seen a color like yours. Are they gray, Ada? Even if I pay more attention, I can see a hazelnut color inside."
• I looked at him, amazed, and saw how his face was just inches from mine, completely losing myself. Then, I realized that...
• "You're using your tactic to conquer women with me!" I guessed, smiling and at the same time somewhat offended.
• "I'm great. The secret is to look them in the eyes and run your gaze over them, until you go straight to their lips. Simple, but it works."
• I burst out laughing, amazed.
• He took the panty from my hand again, grabbed a couple of towels, and chose the clothes he thought I should wear. Comfortable clothes, thank God, he led me out of the room and into the bathroom.
• "Bathe, and when you come out, a delicious meal will be waiting for you. You'll be surprised at what these hands can do."
• And without allowing me to protest, I found myself forced to get into the small white tub and start soaping my body with great reluctance. I still had a huge discomfort in my chest, one that told me that if I kept living, I would be worse off.
• If it hadn't been for my neighbor, the police would have been trying to break into the house or maybe days would have passed before they decided to see why I hadn't left the apartment and why there was a smell of decay that invaded the entire building hallway and intensified when passing by my door.
• I would have liked to be dead, but I was enjoying the company of a person whose intention was to help me. I didn't know exactly what would happen if he left later, if I would return to having negative thoughts dominating my mind.
• With the water reaching halfway up my chest, I pulled my legs towards me and hugged them, dropping my chin to my knees.
• I didn't want to depend on anyone, that was my point. If I did, I was doomed to failure, to which I had always been destined.
• "Ada, is everything okay?"
• The question behind Max's door startled me, making me realize that I had been in the tub for too long.
• "Yes, I'll be out in a moment."
• I washed my hair, rinsed it, and came out, wrapping myself in the towels that Max had chosen. I looked at myself in the mirror, trying to understand what I would do with my life if I didn't have a job, financial stability, and a dream to pursue, since I also had no motivations. I felt lost.
• I dried my short hair with the towel, every white strand in it. I was born with hair so blonde that it looked like I had gray hair, a couple of times I had allowed myself to darken it so as not to look bald. My hair reached just above my shoulders and I was so pale that it gave me chills.
• How beautiful it was to be dead inside.
• I put on gray cotton pants, underwear, and a dark tank top, trying to avoid wearing a bra at all costs. I intended to be comfortable.
• I observed my reflection one last time before heading out into the hallway, and the words "everything will be fine" came to my mind. The worst feeling was not knowing whether to continue or give up.
• Max had thought of everything, roasted meat with sliced and fried potatoes, with a tomato and lettuce salad.
• "When did you go to buy all this in the morning?" was the first thing I asked him when I saw what he had prepared. "I don't have the money to pay you back for everything you spent."
• He was setting the table with cutlery on each side of the plates and looked up when he saw me enter.
• "When you were sleeping. I took that moment to buy everything necessary. I don't expect you to pay me back, consider it as if I took you out to eat."
• "Would that be a date? Interesting."
• "No, Ada. I just cooked what restaurants do, but doing it at home is cheaper. Sit down, do you want wine? Because I do."
• He poured two glasses of wine and left the bottle on the table as I sat down, watching everything he was doing for me.
• Once again we sat face to face and ate in silence. Every now and then I would glance at him briefly and find him looking at me, but when our eyes met, we would quickly look away.
• "How old are you?" I dared to ask him.
• "Thirty-five years old."
• I opened my eyes, surprised.
• "I thought you were under thirty."
• "Thank you, I'll take that as a compliment. Life always flies by, one day you're twenty-seven, successful and with girls, and a few years later you're looking for something meaningful to keep living. Sometimes, pretending to be a strong person is no longer fun," he said, playing with his food with the fork. "How old are you, Ada?"
• "Nineteen years old."
• I wasn't the only one surprised by the numbers mentioned. He looked at me as if I had told him something worse than my age.
• "Damn, I didn't think you were so young."
• He became so uncomfortable that I had to reassure him.
• "I'm of legal age, I'm not young. Don't worry."
• "Now I understand why you thought I was a degenerate. I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable by being here, my intention is to help you," he quickly clarified, and I could see his neck and face turning red as he squirmed in his chair.
• I placed my hand on his over the table. He was surprised by the physical contact and looked at me, leaving it still for a moment.
• "You did something for me in just a few hours that no one had ever done before," I said, with such sincerity that my voice broke. I withdrew my hand and brought the food to my mouth, savoring it with great enjoyment. "Let me tell you, this is delicious, Max."
• He relaxed and smiled at me, picking up his utensils to continue eating.
• Then, his phone rang again and he answered, looking somewhat frustrated.
• "Felipe, how are you?... No, what? Was it today?... No, I had no idea. Yes, I don't know... my father expects me to do it, but I'm still in distrust mode... Really? I might invite someone... Yes? I'll confirm my presence later, it's still very early. Yes... goodbye."
• He hung up the call and looked at me, with a doubtful expression.
• "That was a pretty short call," I said.
• "It wasn't the call, but the topic of conversation," he replied.
• "What do you mean?"
• He swallowed before answering:
• "How much money can I offer you to be just for tonight, my sugar baby?"
• It was inevitable that the food slipped from my mouth to the plate.
• I didn't know exactly what to say, how to respond, or what to think about such a proposal that I didn't know where it was going.
• "What is a sugar baby?" I asked, somewhat taken aback by the title.
• His face fell, immediately retracting the proposal.
• "Damn, I'm sorry. You know what? Forget it, I shouldn't have suggested it."
• At first, I thought he was pretending to regret it, but he was being more sincere than I thought.
• "If there's money involved, I can even be a dog. I can be whatever you want," I insisted, with no grace in my voice.
• Max looked into my eyes, defeated. He let out a long sigh and said:
• "A sugar baby is a person in a relationship who receives financial support, as well as gifts or other benefits for participating in a relationship. It may or may not include physical contact, that is carried out by both parties. Some people include sex in the relationship or..."
• I raised my hand intending to stop the explanation. I nodded slowly, looking at him attentively.
• "Do you want me to be your sugar baby, Max?"
• "Just for tonight. There will be an important party organized by my parents, with their friends and mine, I think. I'm not sure what it's all about."
• "Are you sure you want to bring a girl with low self-esteem and negative thoughts who might try to commit suicide again?" I asked, trying to understand why he wanted me.
• "That's why I thought of you to take you. I'll be able to keep an eye on you, you can go out to clear your mind a bit, ventilate your mind from your problems, and you'll receive money for this huge favor, Ada."
• "If it helps you to calm down, I'll use part of the money to go to a psychologist. I'll do you a favor and you'll do me a favor."
• He looked at me, his face full of surprise, and leaned over the table, taking my hands.