Chapter 91 Let's Have A Try

• Suddenly, I feel horrible. I do not know what the feeling is in my heart and why the weird feeling comes to me. I should only feel sad for Cody. How can I think about another guy? Who am I loving, Cody or Bruce? Am I actually loving anyone? But, should I love anyone? Cody is always impatient to me. He never pays attention to me. As for Bruce, he is good to me but I do not like him so he forced me into sex and made me his slave. So I said he was selfish.
• But talking about selfish, I am selfish too. I broke his heart just because I love another man who did not even look at me. But what I should do if I am not that selfish? Should I accept Bruce? If I accept him, will I be happy? If I give up a man I have love for years and turn to another man who has loved me for years, will I be happy? I am in a huge mess. Before I realize it, tears drop onto the pillow.
• I am crying! I am surprised by myself. Who am I crying for, Cody or Bruce, or myself? I blink to get rid of the tears. Maybe, I can try to believe Bruce for once. He has told me several times that he loves me. Maybe after I accept him, I can save myself from all the pain I feel when Cody ignores me and lives happy life with Emelia, my past friend.