Chapter 17 Lily Helps Me

• “ Wake up. Wake up.” Someone is pushing me. I open my eyes and see someone who I do not know. She seems to be a maid. I squint to check her name card. I see “ Fanny”. “ What is up?” “ It is too late. Why are you still sleeping?” She looks unhappy and arrogant. I do not think she wants to listen to my story of being raped by my master. So I ask directly, “ Why did you wake me up?” Fanny takes away the blanket on me and snarls, “ I need to tidy up the room, unlike you who can sleep in bed when the sun is up.” I am speechless.
• I roll my eyes and try to get up before I feel a lot of pain in my lower abdomen. The pain reminds me of what I has experienced last night and the night before last night. I do not know what to feel. Maybe I should be frightened but actually at this moment, I can not feel anything anymore. I do not know what to do to vent my sadness, maybe I should say. I think I should cry and scream to make myself feel better, but actually I only feel lonely and broken as if my body does not belong to me.
• Everything happened to quickly. The first time I lost my virginity was when Cody was drunk. I took good care of him after he woke up. I indulged in his scarce gentleness and almost forgot that he is my cruel master. The second time he raped me was when he was supper. I do not know why he did it. I guess it was because he wants to show that he owns my body. After communicating with him with all my courage and wisdom, he treats me a little more gentle and let me sleep in his bed.