Chapter 2 The School Mockery

• Let me tell you about Brandon Clark. Well, the story goes like this: when my sister Fernanda was little, she met Annie and they became friends. My mom used to take me along to their playdates so I wouldn't be alone, as she had to work and have her own life. And there, in their big house, a huge house with everything that kids could desire... I met Brandon, who was older than Annie and me by a couple of years.
• He was a cute boy, and since I was the youngest of all, he always protected and took care of me. In no time, we became a group of friends where they always treated me like some kind of group pet. I suppose I was an innocent and chubby girl, which seemed adorable at that time. But Brandon... he was always special to me, that's true, he never hid it, quite the opposite. He was patient with me if I didn't understand something, he explained it to me and even joined in my games.
• Sometimes, the Clark family invited my sister and me to their beach house... and those were simply the best days of my life. We played in the sand, and he helped me build sandcastles and collect seashells. Sometimes, during the summers, his cousin Billy, who was the same age as Annie and my sister, joined us. He was fun and always kept in touch with me throughout the years. I, who had no one to play with because for my sister, I was always her "stupid chubby little sister," suddenly had a complete group of kids who liked me. It was like a dream come true. Annie was kind, Brandon was always attentive to me, and Billy was like the clown of the group, making me laugh.
• As time went by, I grew up and understood how special that family was. Their parents treated me better than my own mom, and they seemed to see something special in me. I also realized that Brandon was a serious and popular kid at school. Sometimes, he played with me, but it was as if he belonged to another world: a world of wealth, beauty, and intelligence. These are things that you don't realize when you're little, until, finally, you understand. And I realized it late, very late.
• Brandon seemed like he would have everything he wanted when he grew up. On the other hand, I was an introverted girl who liked to paint and had few friends. But when I played at his house, he would become the same old Brandon, kind, teaching me how to play his video games, and laughing like fools. He always made time and space for me. Naively, I thought it would always be like that. How wrong I was, I guess it was part of childhood naivety. We grew up, and little by little, the Clarks became more attractive and brilliant. Our friendship continued, but I could see how people watched us in school when we were together. We weren't the same, we were like creatures from different worlds. Even my sister distanced herself from me... I didn't fit in, and I was definitely unpopular. Shortly after, they spent a couple of years in Europe, I didn't see Billy either, and when they came back, everything changed. Oh my God... how everything changed. It hurts just to think about it.
• When they returned and we were in the midst of adolescence, that time when changes are happening every day, some for the better, others for the worse. In Annie and Brandon's case, it was for the better, for the veryyy better. Annie and Brandon were the school's dream. Brandon's light hair, dark blond, was styled in a fashionable way, his clothes were fantastic, he had grown several inches, and his muscles had developed as if he lifted weights every day. He was simply gorgeous, as if adolescence enhanced his attractiveness, beauty, and good qualities.
• He was the best in his class and appreciated by everyone, he was the ideal boy, the teachers loved him, the boys wanted to be like him, and the girls, well... be with him. Annie was beautiful, with her long hair and brand-name dresses, perfect like a doll, a good student, an ideal girl. She still treated me kindly and her family adored me. My sister did everything possible to keep them from finding out that we were related, always trying to be popular and resemble Annie as much as possible, wearing her clothes and imitating her style, and well, I was... me. Instead of going from a chubby girl to a slim and curvaceous girl, I became a chubby girl with curves. My body started growing in all directions and my curves began to appear, attracting all kinds of looks. I wasn't the slim or athletic type, but rather a strong, thick woman, at least by the standards of that stupid school. It's not the same to have a nice butt and chest if you're wide and thick like me, it's not the same and everyone makes sure to let you know.
• I remember when he saw me again after all those years. I was no longer the little girl he took care of or played with on the beach, the one who asked for his help or had animal t-shirts. I was a girl who had grown up, and whose body was different. He looked me up and down with a gaze I couldn't decipher, but it hurt me terribly. I wished I could hide underground that day. I wasn't attractive, my hair had become unruly, my face was no longer that of a child, I had simply become another Adelaide.
• Although he remained considerate and kind, he started looking at me from a distance, less closely. We spoke less and he sometimes helped me with my tasks. He told me I had to keep studying, that I was very intelligent and creative. I enjoyed studying, I was a good student, so that was easy. I was a bit of a nerd, but so invisible that no one really bothered me. Let's say I spent the first years of school like that, being a nobody, watching the Mikes from afar, hearing about how they were the gods of the place. They were my friends, but they rarely approached me.
• We continued going to his house, not so much to play, but just to talk and watch movies. But I already felt uncomfortable, I felt like my body was constantly changing and that it was unpleasant. Annie and Fernanda went to parties, wearing beautiful, short dresses that showed off their perfect legs, small breasts, and shiny hair. Clothes that I would never fit into. Sometimes Brandon went with them, other times he went to his own parties.
• I realized that the affection I felt for Brandon had turned into a crush, my first crush, only with him, my childhood friend. I thought about him all the time, he was the only boy I liked and I felt that no one would ever like me as much as him, and that I would never get over this infatuation in my entire life. It was intense, like any first love, and at the same time, it was painful because I knew he would never be interested in me. Of course, other girls wanted him for themselves, many, in fact, all of them. They talked about how attractive he was and gossiped about who he would be dating, who would be his girlfriend, and if he had kissed this or that girl.
• But everything fell apart in his last year, that year when everyone talks about college, the future, the change of a very important stage. Brandon had gotten into the best university and was leaving the city. I lived in my own world, watching him from afar, not knowing for sure, but I suppose he must have gone out with several girls, kissed many, probably slept with all of them, and I was zero in all those departments.
• Despite all that, he still came to talk to me. It wasn't like before, but, nevertheless, he greeted me in the hallways, helped me with math, and smiled at me. It seemed like he was getting closer to me and then pulling away.
• The end-of-year dance for the seniors was approaching, the one I wasn't invited to, of course. I remember that for weeks, like a stupid girl, I dreamed that he would invite me. Of course, it was a platonic dream, that was never going to happen, never. I would die of laughter just thinking about it, if something like that happened, it would be a big, big joke, a very cruel prank. And yet, I had seen a beautiful dress that I had already tried on and thought it looked really good on me. I dreamed of buying it, that's how foolishly in love I was.
• Until that day came, that fateful day, I remember it was an afternoon, I heard him talking to his friends and that's when my world changed. I was alone in a classroom and when I heard voices, I don't know why, but I hid. I was about to leave quickly, but as soon as I saw Brandon, I stayed there, behind a desk. Big mistake, if I could travel back in time, I would tell teenage Adelaida to run away from there. Brandon was talking about girls with some classmates and they were discussing who they were going to invite to the dance, just like boys do, laughing cruelly at girls.
• "You know... I think I would like to invite your little friend," Franco said... a silly dark-haired boy who likes to tease others, I think my sister went out with him a couple of times. He thought he was very attractive, and I suppose secretly he envied Brandon. They were laughing, but since Franco mentioned that, everyone fell silent. "You know... Adelaida... or as you call her... Ady," he said in a high-pitched voice, clearly making fun of Brandon, as if I were a joke, not a person, but a big joke. When I heard my name, it felt like my heart was about to burst. I was scared and I had every reason to be.
• "What do you want with her?" he suddenly asked seriously.
• "Ummm, I don't know, maybe go out with her, you know? She's not that bad... she has a little bit of this... quite a bit of that... unless she's your girlfriend," Franco insinuated, laughing.
• "She's not my girlfriend," he quickly retorted. Obviously, I'm not his girlfriend and yet, I couldn't help but feel a pang of pain hearing it from his lips. We have nothing, I don't think we even have a friendship. Why do they have to be talking about me? I would prefer if no one talked about me.
• "Then you wouldn't mind if I invite her to the dance, right? I think she hasn't had a boyfriend and hasn't gone out with any guy that I know of... I'm sure she would say yes immediately," Franco said arrogantly. As if I would go out with that idiot! Brandon jumped up and everyone started making jokes. He stared at Franco intently and spoke each word with so much hatred, words that I remember perfectly and will remember for the rest of my life.
• "Why would you want to go to the dance with her? Do you want to make a fool of yourself? Unless you like women... who weigh much more than they should... you know, like a pig," he said and laughter erupted. Even Franco laughed.
• "A real pig, don't you realize it's not normal to be like that?" another said and the laughter grew deeper. I felt my heart break right there and I started to cry, covering my mouth with my hand so they wouldn't hear me.
• "A whale, you mean," another said, gesturing as if walking heavily, dragging their feet.
• "Who would want a girl like that? You must really be messed up, Franco," another said while still laughing. Brandon didn't laugh as enthusiastically, but I saw him smiling and looking seriously at the others.
• I wish it could have ended there, but obviously not. As you can imagine, I didn't go to the dance, nor any other dance. Instead, I spent the whole night crying, I think I had never cried so much in my life. The next day at school, I didn't see Brandon, but I and only I became the laughingstock of the entire school: they called me all kinds of animal-related jokes and made pig noises as they passed by. Of course, Brandon went off to college in the following days and I was stuck with that nickname for years. Throughout high school, I was the piglet, the whale, and other clever nicknames they could come up with. Needless to say, no one wanted to go out with me or be my friend.
• Annie tried to defend me and accompany me, but my sister pulled her to the other side, to the popular group. I was alone and depressed for months. I went from being the invisible girl to the school's mockery. I know many boys and girls had a hard time there, but I was the number one target for laughter at all times.
• I cried every day before going to school, I didn't want to go, I made up excuses and withdrew like never before. My grades were affected, my performance, everything. I tried to go unnoticed as much as I could, I didn't sign up for extracurricular activities and most of the time I said I was sick. I hated myself, terribly, just because of one boy's word. I was lucky to even graduate, but I couldn't get into college and my life changed in that instant forever.
• Years passed and I always avoided going to the Clark's house, their parents would call me and ask about me. Go to the beach with them? Wear a swimsuit! Are they crazy? God forbid! I know he would come back during university vacations, but I even avoided leaving the house for fear of seeing him. Billy, when he came to visit them, sometimes tried to go out with me and we maintained a friendship through messages, I was happy when I saw him, for years he was my only friend. He even confessed to me that he was gay, which the rest of his family didn't know. He was my friend, and I had his secret, it made me feel important that someone like him would trust me with such a crucial secret in his life.
• When Annie and my sister graduated, I went to the event early, I saw him from afar, congratulated Annie, and then fled from the graduation as if the devil was chasing me. After that, I didn't see him anymore, I know he had gone to Europe to complete his studies and that he was a famous businessman. I worked and fought to recover, I learned some design on my own, in a few courses here and there, I had terrible jobs in stores and ugly offices. Finally, school was nothing more than a horrible memory, like everything in life, time passes and helps to heal the scars.
• Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if Brandon hadn't said what he said. Maybe they would have laughed at me in a different way, maybe they wouldn't even have remembered that I existed. Another option is that I would have fought to continue studying and not let myself be influenced so much, change schools, find refuge in something else. But to this day, I don't even own a pink garment, they laughed at me so much that I don't even approach animals and I go everywhere with fear, praying that no one remembers my animal nicknames. After several unimportant jobs, I got this one, which is what I want.
• All because of that stupid comment from that popular boy. All because of Brandon Clark, who was sitting in front of me in this meeting room, smiling at me, calling me Ady, as if nothing had happened.