Chapter 40

• The drive home is awkward. I am deep in thought about how I can prolong our visit and I have no idea what’s running through his mind. Twice though, he cracks his neck. So that’s a good sign. He pulls up at my house and turns off his car but he seems nervous. I’m nervous—can I do this?
• “Do you want to come up for coffee?” I grab his hand. I internally kick myself. Coffee, we just had frigging coffee. What a lame thing to say. He looks down at our entwined fingers as he swallows and I can almost hear his brain ticking.
• “It’s not a good idea, presh.” The sound of him calling me presh which is short for precious, his pet name for me, opens a wound in my chest that I can’t deny. I nod, unable to speak. I can feel the tears forming. I don’t want to say goodbye. What’s going on with me? I’m acting like a lovesick fifteen–year–old. My eyes cloud over and I go to quickly get out of the car before he sees. Too late, he grabs me by the arm.