Chapter 13

• “Thank god,” my mum smiled. “He’s home. We can all go to bed now.” She put her arm around me and led me to the hall. “He’s safe,” she smiled. I hauled my sorry ass to bed. That night I didn’t sleep. I knew deep in my gut what I had to do if I truly loved Josh. I needed to set him free so he could carry on with his life’s work, but should I tell him the truth? No, then he would make the decision for me. I knew if I was in his position I could never leave him. I wouldn’t have the strength. What if he did stay? Would we last? This I didn’t know. I needed a crystal ball. My dad was right. He would fuck up the rest of his life. The cold hard reality was we couldn’t have a future together, not in our family’s eyes. Oh what to do, what to do. At 5.00 am I came to the heartbreaking decision. I knew what to do and it turned my stomach just thinking about it.
• The next day I faked sickness to get the day off school. My parents went to work and I started to pace again, waiting for his call. At one o–clock my phone rang. It was Josh— he thought I was on lunch break. I braced myself.
• “Hi,” I answered.