Chapter 103

• Maria comes over and grabs Sean by the hand. “I’m stealing my husband Joshua.” And with that she drags him away. I sit still, stunned to my core. I am so fucking stupid. My heart drops as I watch Natasha’s uninhibited laughter, like she doesn’t have a care in the world. She deserves better than I can give her—all the money in the world cannot replace motherhood or her family. I close my eyes and consider the serious ramifications for her if we stay together. In years to come I know she will regret the choice to give up a family to be with me—any one in their right mind would. I’m not worth the sacrifice. Not with my baggage. She should be with someone like…Christopher. He can give her what I can’t. He still loved her and they weren’t even sleeping together. Pain lances through my chest as I realise she is better off with someone else, someone for whom she would not have to sacrifice. Someone who I know would look after her. Someone who loves her as much as I do. Her words come back to haunt me. I had to save you from yourself, baby, you were going to give everything up to be with me and I loved you too much to let you do it. I put my head in hands as I think.
• I honestly don’t know if I can do it. I’m not strong enough to walk away.
• Am I?