Chapter 27

• My stomach drops as I watch Joshua Stanton, my Joshua Stanton, walk in with a group of men. They are laughing with the girls on the door and I sit still, too stunned to react. He puts his arm around one of the girls and whispers something into her ear. She giggles and slaps him. What in the hell did he say? This night just went from hero to zero in a millisecond. Abbie has just noticed what we are looking at.
• “Oh fuck,” she whispers, the shock on her face evident, and she pulls up her drink menu. This is something I don’t want to see, the room is suddenly suffocating and I need to get out of here, like now. I watch as they enter and walk over to the stairs with the red rope. They have been here before, they know the drill. He is with six other men, all in suits. I don’t know any of them but one looks like his bodyguard, actually yes it is, it’s Ben. A bleached blonde walks over and talks to them, and I watch in slow motion as Joshua gets out his wallet and hands over his credit card. Oh dear god, no. They are going upstairs to the VIP room. I feel sick. I want to run over and stop him. To beg him to come home with me because I know if he goes up there I can never touch him again. It will have gone too far to go back. Silently in my head I start to pray, don’t do it baby. Please don’t do it. I start wringing my hands together under the table and I have broken out into a cold sweat. The group of men all bundle up the stairs as soon as she unhooks the rope. Just as Joshua is about to take the stairs he stops as he notices something and looks towards the stage. My eyes flick to the stage to see what he is looking at. The policewoman is now on her knees fucking the prisoner with the baton. My eyes go back to him. No. I watch in horror as he clenches his jaw and cracks his neck—he’s aroused. The pain of watching the man I love become aroused by another woman, or two in this case, is crippling and I put my head down onto the table unable to speak. Bridget rubs the back of my head, unsure of what to say. No, I need to see this. I look back up as he calls the blonde back over and lights a cigarette. Huh, he smokes now? I watch as he says something and gestures to the stage. She nods and smiles. Just when I thought this nightmare could not get any worse, I watch as he runs the backs of his fingers from her throat down between her bare breasts and down to her G–String. He rims his fingers around the inside of the waistband and gives them a jerk before he lets her go. With his cigarette between his teeth he says something and she gives him a filthy smile before he turns and heads up the stairs. I’m in shock, did that just happen? I look to my dear friends, and their faces say more than words. Bridget grabs my hand and Abbie rubs my leg. There are no words for this situation, no words at all. I put my hand over my mouth—I think I’m going to be sick.
• “Tash, let’s go baby,” Bridget whispers. “We have seen enough.” I shake my head, still unable to speak. I shake again. I don’t want to leave him here. I don’t want him to wreck it. “Tash, come on, we have to go.”