Chapter 380

• It’s day 26 and I go over the plan I have in my head for the hundredth time today. I have unscrewed the shower screen and have it placed it strategically in the bathroom, waiting for my attack. For the last seven days I have woken up every morning determined that today is the day, today I’m going to escape, but then I’m so scared I’m going to mess it up and end up dead and my love will really lose me that I chicken out. I have to be positive my plan will work before I do it or else it’s just a death wish. I just wish I knew if the coverage of me in here is going back to base somewhere else or if this is the only outlet, because if this is the only outlet I have a much bigger chance of getting away before anyone knows I’m gone. I know what shift Carl is on and I have to do it when the young boy is here, as I have a much greater chance of surviving against him. He won’t even talk to me because he knows I’m trying to break down his defences. I have strategically started to call myself Cinderella and asked the two men to call me Joshua’s nickname Cinderella on the offchance that the person doing this is someone we know and that they may refer me as Cinderella to Adrian. He knows that he and I are the only two people who know about that. It’s a long shot, but I’m trying anything.
• I got my period this morning, and I cried. Both tears of sadness and tears of relief. I had been holding off my escape, half thinking that I may have been pregnant and I didn’t want to endanger Joshua’s and my child, but I needn’t have worried. I’m not pregnant and that makes me just plain sad. I just pray I survive this and we get the chance to try again. More and more I know that as time goes on my chances of getting out of here alive are diminishing. I will wait now until my period finishes because if it works and I do get away, who knows how long I will be in the forest. My eyes flick down to my feet. I don’t even have shoes. How do you escape through the forest without shoes?
• Adrian