Chapter 253

• 19/1/2006
• Joshua and I made love last night. It was beautiful and it fucking hurt. I am no longer a virgin. I told him I loved him but he didn’t say it back … it hurt my feelings.
• I put the book down and rub my face with both hands. I knew I fucking hurt her. I can still remember the feeling of her hanging on to me so tightly. Christ, why the fuck am I reading this shit? It’s messing with my head. She always tells me she loves me and I never fucking say it back. What’s wrong with me?