Chapter 293

• I can hear her smile. “I will let you go then, sweety. Go back to bed. I love you.”
• “Bye Mum. I love you too.” I hang up the phone.
• I look at my reflection in the mirror. Mum was right. I am off. I have a sinking feeling that everything is not as it seems with Joshua and me. Last night when we came to bed and made love… actually that’s not true, we didn’t make love. Joshua fucked me—no emotion, no passion, no tenderness—it was like he needed a release as a sleeping pill and I was the closest thing he could find. I could have been anybody and he would have taken me the same. It was like he didn’t know me. It has never been like that before. Even through all of our shit when I didn’t know what was going on between us there was always love and tenderness after we had both orgasmed, a gentleness in him that I love. Not last night… nothing like it… what does that mean? I have a shower while deep in thought, then I put a sexy nightdress on and hop back into bed and surf the net on my iPad as I wait for his return. Forty minutes later the bedroom door opens.