Chapter 184

• The next three days is a blur of waiting rooms in the hospital, only leaving to sleep. Robert and Margaret arrive with Wilson, Scott and his wife Alyssa. We sit camped in the waiting room outside the palliative care unit, the most depressing place on earth. I thought the intensive care waiting room was depressing, but at least people there have a chance of getting better. Every visitor has come to this ward to say goodbye to their loved one, there is no chance of getting out of here alive. Bridget is so tired she doesn’t care anymore and is asleep on the lounge, spread-eagled, perhaps even dribbling. I am sitting on the floor next to the vending machine with Wilson. My legs are curled up and my arms are around my knees. I am lost in thought. Margaret, Scott and Alyssa are on the lounges. My mother and Robert are in with Gran—they haven’t left her side. How do you say goodbye to your parent? It’s something nobody should have to do. Cancer. How many beautiful people have to die of this insidious disease before they find a cure? Why in the hell are the world’s leaders spending billions of dollars every year on space exploration when we have a disaster on the earth to explore? I know every taxpayer on earth wants a cure for cancer. The governments need to find one … quickly.
• Max is here, sitting in the corner reading on his iPad. It’s strangely comforting having him here. I think back to when he first starting guarding me at Joshua’s insistence and how much I hated it, but now I understand what poor Joshua deals with every day and why he is like he is and why Ben is so obsessive about Joshua’s safety. Apparently about three years ago Joshua’s company designed an app and sold it in a multimillion dollar deal to a major company who were in talks with another man about his app. Unbeknown to Adrian and Joshua the company dumped the other man and bought Josh’s app instead. The man then went berserk, claiming Joshua’s company stole his app idea and that in effect Joshua had stolen millions of dollars from him, costing him his wife and family. The man is mentally unstable and is obviously not taking his medication. Max said that not long after that the man broke into Joshua’s house and was waiting there when Joshua got home after a night out. Luckily he had Carson and the boys with him and a security guard. The man had a gun and was going crazy, threatening to kill him, but they managed to wrestle him to the ground and hold him there until the police came and arrested him. He was ordered into psychiatric care and an AVO was placed on him but then eighteen months ago Joshua was walking into a restaurant one Saturday night with Adrian and Ben and the same man turned up with a gun and fired a shot at them. Luckily he can’t shoot and he missed, but he escaped and is still at large. Max won’t tell me his name. I think he is scared that I can look up on the system or something. I can’t, mental health records are not accessible to just anyone. But I would love to see his psychometric testing so I could see how dangerous I think he is. They live in constant fear that he will turn up and try to kill again. He has since threatened to kill Adrian and I guess they think that I am in danger because I was photographed with Joshua … that and the fact that the world still thinks we are married.
• The carjacking thing in LA though is still baffling to me. If this man is so unstable, he probably doesn’t hold down a permanent job, which means he wouldn’t have the money to hire a hit man. I have discussed my theory with Max and he agrees with me. We think it’s highly unlikely that this is the same man but the police are sure it is … so I don’t know. The police have footage of the hit men that attacked Joshua in the petrol station that night and are just waiting to get a name and then they will be able to trace his bank accounts to find out any info or perhaps the person who hired the hit. Either way, my nightmares are warranted. My beautiful man has crazy people who want him dead and he is heavily guarded. I know he hates it. I am pulled from my nightmare as the doors at the end of the corridor open. My heart stops and I gasp when I see first Ben walk in, then another guard. Cameron walks in front, wearing jeans and a white shirt, his hair curled and unruly, and behind them Joshua.