Chapter 84

• HAERA. I gave Alan my back, shielding my face away from him because I didn't want to let whatever emotion I was feeling show. Letting him see me however I was at that moment would make me vulnerable even to myself because of how I've promised myself not to think of my mate and anything related to him. I had been successful at doing that. I was busy with a lot of things to do and learn as an Alpha princess, enough for me to forget about him for days and worry about my lessons. I even got myself a distraction in the person of Basil,had conflicting emotions and then ended up kissing him before I could stop myself. Leave out the embarrassment I felt after the kiss and my attempts to avoid Basil, and you have yourself a woman who did a very good job at letting go of Zachary and focusing on myself and my new life. But of course, it didn't last. I didn't expect it to. I didn't expect my new found peace and quiet to last. I knew Alpha Zachary enough to deduce that he wasn't the patient type and he would take whatever he wants–damn the consequences. I knew it was only a matter of time before he came to my pack to take me or at least fight to do so. Every night before I close my eyes to sleep, I think, is the next day the day he will come? And when I open my eyes the next day, I think, is today the day he will come? It was a repeated process of thinking every day but I knew deep within me that the day drew nearer every second. What I didn't expect was Alan being the one to show up, bearing news that I didn't know how to react to. How? How could he be in a coma? It sounded like a spurned lie and an unbelievable turnout of events. It definitely couldn't be real. To test myself, I pictured him in my head, eyes closed, chest rising and falling with a momentum that made it seemed forced, his skin pale and body unmoving, not even a single twitch of his closed eyes. The mental image haunted me and I quickly shut myself out of it. Dezra howled as if she saw the same thing I saw and a rush of urgency passed through me as well as fear, concern and worry. It was hard to tell whose feelings it was–mine or Dezra's but I was hundred percent sure it was Dezra feeling all those things because I was still unsure of the situation and answers were what I needed. "Ask him what happened...we have to know what happened Haera!" Dezra's thought seemed to match mine and since I was done thinking about how to react to Alan's news, I turned around again, my regalia flowing with me as I did. I sensed the change in Alan's body language since he got here and met me. The respect and reverence he showed gave me another reminder of my status to him and his pack. I was their destined Luna even though I didn't want the title or the fate as much as I dreamed of it when I discovered Alpha Zachary was my mate. I maintained a calm posture, the best I could muster and one out of my many lessons as the Alpha princess. "Start talking. What exactly is going on?" I questioned. Alan sighed–a relieved one, as if he was grateful I was willing to give him an audience. For some reason, I knew he had at least a vague idea of why I chose to leave the imperial pack instead of staying with his Alpha. It must have taken a lot for him to come here. "Alpha Zachary got attacked." He said bluntly I didn't hide my shock this time around. As if I hadn't just heard moments ago that he was in a coma but the word "attacked" more than subtly reminded me of the time he was attacked by rogues under Tybalt's command. I shook the thoughts away. I never never want to relive the experience of that day. "How? Did the pack get attacked?" Alan shook his head before he opened his mouth to reply, shifting on one foot as if nervous about what he was going to say to me. "No, it wasn't an attack from outside. Since...since the previous events, he had been unstable and always throwing a fit at the slightest things. We all feared something would happen to him but we had no idea it would be an attack by his brother and-" "Wait...what? What do you mean by his brother? Tybalt attacked him? I thought...I thought he had him thrown in prison." I searched miserably for words to say. Alan's nervous gestures only appeared clearer for me to see. "About that..." he trailed off while i crossed my hands over my chest, waiting for him to get the words out. "The Alpha pays regular visits to his brother in his cell...no one could stop him since he is his prisoner and of course no one expected Tybalt to have a weapon. He attacked and..." a slight pause and a sharp intake of breath that had me biting my nails nervously as I waited for him to say the next words. "He escaped." He finally let it out. I blinked once. Then twice. Then rapidly because my head was pounding so much and my brain was finding it hard to process what I had just heard. It was all too much to take in. My mate got attacked and Tybalt escaped from the cell he was kept in. How many days has it even been since I left the pack? What the hell did my mate get himself into? "That piece of shit! That slimy piece of shit! Wait till I get my hands on him. I've always known he was up to no good and I swear by the moon goddess that he will die by my hands." Dezra's angry voice pierced through my head. All this while, I thought the threat was gone and Tybalt was out of the way. I thought Zachary and the entire pack was now safe even if they were missing something –me. "We thought it was something we could handle and so the physicians have been tending to him since the attack but he has not been responding to treatments. It gets worse everyday and nothing is working. He just...he just wouldn't wake up." I pushed Dezra's feelings aside as my own thoughts clouded my mind. I left that pack because my mate didn't want me for who I was and expected me to run into his arms the moment my real identity was revealed. I left because he hurt me. I left because he seemed too out of control and wouldn't listen to me. He was adamant on things he wanted to do and turned a blind eye to the truth, letting himself get easily manipulated by a crazy woman and her daughter. How dare he get himself hurt and then garner pity from me? "Then why are you here? How does your coming here make a difference when you should be by his side as his beta, tending to him?" "Believe me princess...I have tried. We all have. I wouldn't be here if we haven't exhausted our patience and belief that he will wake up. The pack is in a state of uproar and everyone is worried." I snorted. Unimpressed. Dezra fought to make me feel worried at least but I wanted to portray not even a single emotion. I knew what Alan was hinting at. I knew what he came here for without him when having to say it yet but I wasn't just going to let him have it easy. There's no way I'm running back to him like a fool when he hasn't reflected on what he did wrong. He is hurt. He has physicians looking after him. He will be okay with or without me like he has been all these while. "Again, how does your coming here change anything?" Alan stared at me with an incredulous look in his eyes. Like he couldn't believe how cold and unyielding I was. "He is in a coma. For more than a few days now. We have tried everything we can and we are only left with one thing. His mate. It's only natural and your responsibility for you to-" I held my hand up to stop him before he could continue. "Did I just hear you say responsibility? My responsibility as what? His mate or his Luna? Your Alpha hasn't even marked me yet not to talk of me getting crowned to sit alongside him on his throne." Alan's face contorted with slight anger that he tried to hide but even if he hid it from his face, I could sense it clawing at him and fighting to be let out. "You are his only hope! That's the only reason why I am here. Do you think I would have come here if it didn't get to this? I'm sure he doesn't want you to worry or run over to him out of pity!" I wanted to fire back but Alan wasn't done. He sent my words right back where they came through.. "If he was okay, he would have never allowed me to come here. He was so determined to let you come to him yourself even if he was losing it daily. I don't know what happened between you two but I saw how it killed him daily not to have you there. You don't know the number of times he has called a carriage to take him to you and then stopped halfway to your pack before turning back. He waited for you." Alan's swoon worthy speech didn't have the effect he probably thought it would have on me. If anything, it only made me annoyed and aggravated. He still hasn't changed. My mate still hasn't changed and he still expects more from people thinking it's best he can do. His coming here would have annoyed me judging by the many trials Alan pointed out to me but it would have had me relieved to know he cared. To know he was sorry and he was ready to own up to his misdeeds. Then I wouldn't have stayed so long here. I wouldn't have let myself get distracted by another man. I wouldn't have kissed another man. Simply put, Alan's words rubbed off me in the wrong way. "He doesn't even have the balls to come to me but prefers to suck it up. His ego is still there like a blindfold on his face!" Alan had that incredulous look in his face again but I didn't give a damn about how he saw me. "Was that all you could deduce after everything I said to you?" Alan's voice already raised an octave. I glared at him. "You will not raise your voice at me when you speak!" I fired back at him. His eyes lowered and he murmured a barely audible apology. "Leave." I said after a few seconds of silence and reflecting on both our parts. His eyes shot up. I definitely caught him off guard. I wasn't going to go back and forth with him again. His Alpha could remain in his deep sleep for eternity since he only needs me when he's in danger of dying. "What–" "Leave. I won't say it again." "Princess Haera, please. I'm sorry if anything I said made you ma–" "Get out of my chambers Alan, I don't want to hear it. I have heard enough. Now leave." His lips thinned and he paled as if he couldn't believe who I was and what I was capable of. His lips parted a few times and he attempted to say something else but closed it, shifted a foot backward and then bowed to me before turning around and walking out of my chambers. I let down my guard after that and Dezra came rushing immediately. "Haera...Haera listen to me and do not shut me off. I understand you are angry. I know you are mad right now and you believe you deserve better. I am mad too but please our mate is in danger. Leave your anger aside and go after Alan." "You don't sound angry enough Dezra." I retorted. " if you really are, you wouldn't tell me to go running to him because he got hurt. He'll be fine!" But Dezra wasn't having it and her resistance gave me a headache. "Did you hear anything his Beta said? They have tried everything! You're mates. Your bond can help bring him back and then you can settle your differences later. You can't let him die." " I'm not sure if you heard anything he said either! He said he's in a coma, not that he's dying. He's bound to wake up...soon...someday ." I shoved around the room, looking for nothing in particular. I just didn't want my hands to be empty. I wanted my thoughts to be occupied by something else other than Dezra but trust her to never let me be when I need it the most. "How could you be so stubborn? When did you turn this cold? I'm starting to think you have another reason behind this! It's your mate for heaven's sake!" "There's no reason behind me adding value to myself since they fail to attribute any to me!" There was a momentary pause after our outbursts and it had us both fuming. I hate moments like this and yet again Zachary was the reason for my clash with my wolf. "This is because of him isn't it? That long haired Beta blood you've been hanging around with and even kissed." Dezra hissed. "Don't even think about it Dezra, don't you dare bring Basil into this." I gritted and tried to convince myself that Basil really has nothing to do with my decision to not go back to my mate. But it was only the beginning of Dezra's taunts and assumptions because her next words stunned me to silence; "Don't tell me you love him?"