Chapter 104 Breathe

• When we get back home it’s quiet. As I head straight to our room. I don’t bother saying anything as I stride in or as Mason calls my name as I head up. It’s a strained word. Like saying my name brings him pain to say. Makes it hurt more. So ignore it and close our room door. I need something to distract me before I head back down to our bar and start drinking Mason out of every possible liquor he has available till I drown out the pain. And knowing I probably can’t be trusted drunk. It’s best I don’t drink.
• So I go straight to the nightstand where I have a book sitting and as my hand hovers over it I freeze. It’s the third book of the series I had been reading. But it’s also the book I was trying to read the night… the night don died. I hadn’t touched it since.
• It’s not it’s the cause. But it still triggers something for me. I close my eyes and try my dammest to move past the thought. Though it’s a much easier pill to shallow than my husband hating me. I exhale slowly, forcing myself to pick up the book. Though for longer than I’d like to admit I don’t even crack the spine of it open. I just stare. But eventually I give in. I need to think of something else. Anything. So I open it and start reading. And keep reading and keep reading. Because Mason. Never comes upstairs to our room. Instead after a few hours k hear the front door open than close and somehow without even going downstairs I know he left. And it’s only me and Lucas here.