Chapter 237 I Never Wanted To Have Children

• "I never wanted to have children."Her voice, and her admission, freezes my feet. She approaches the mirror and leans in to inspect her eyeliner. "I thought I hit the jackpot when I attracted William Star. Of course, I wanted to continue the Star name, so I knew I would have to have at least one child, but I was in no hurry to give up my freedom or share the little attention he gave me with anyone else."She pulls out a lipstick from her purse. "William was never home. That's what happens with Star men. I don't know if you've noticed, but they are addicted to success and control. That's what the Star business gives them. It was exciting at first, being surrounded by such powerful men. Believe me, I know. And the money, the lifestyle, almost made up for the loneliness. All the business trips, late nights, and missed birthdays."She drags the dusty pink color over her lips. "The red lipstick on shirt collars and the beautiful women who smile in secret. He swore he never touched any of them, but I don't see how he could resist."Bitterness flashes in her eyes, the kind that has faded over the years but still flares up occasionally. "Scott was an accident. But when I told William I was pregnant, he suddenly changed. He was closer, more affectionate towards me. I wasn't just the symbolic wife he took to events, I was the mother of his child. I realized I played an important role. I finally had some control over him. That's why I had Diego. To maintain that control."I feel my face twist in surprise at her sincere and repugnant admission. "Of course, I hoped those maternal instincts would kick in at some point,"she adds as an afterthought, then sighs. "Anyway, it didn't last. Once the children started to grow up, William went back to focusing solely on the family business and getting Scott and Diego involved in it. Scott didn't take to it as quickly, but Diego..."She shakes her head and laughs. "He had an impressive collection of suits and ties when he was nine. All he ever wanted to do was please his father. He took it as, well, a Star. Turned out just like his father, flaws and all."
• "You don't know him. You left when he was eleven. Don't you think Diego has a heart? Feelings?"
• Her blue eyes shift from her own reflection to mine. I see the challenge to deny it in them.