Chapter 12 Seren

• Today had been a day I had been dreading. But as sure as the sun was to rise, it had arrived. A day that filled me with pain. A day that left me contemplating so much. Reliving memories. My eyes filled with tears. Losing someone you love is the worst imagineable loss, but when that someone is someone you depend upon… turn to… look up to… he had been my everything. Is that not what a Dad was meant to be to his little girl? I had never expected to lose him whilst I was so young. Though, I don’t suppose many people expect to lose the ones they love… and, no matter how hard I tried, I did not know how to make that loss any easier.
• Three years this year since he had left us. Three years since I had heard his voice. Three years since he had lovingly wrapped his arms around my Mum's waist as she made him his morning coffee, making her giggle, despite their many years together as mates. 1095 days feeling lost without my Dad by my side to turn to for advice. Not hearing his laughter. Not having him to sit next to me, and watch our favourite TV show. Not to be able to cook together... the small things you took for granted were the big things you missed the most. Nothing felt the same.
• I had woken up, knowing that to so many in pack it would be just another day. But to me, it felt like so much more. There was an ache in my heart I could not describe. I had decided the best way to deal with it was to go for a run. Exercise seemed to be my means of escape. I wanted to be alone the moment I saw my Mum had already rushed off to the packhouse to busy herself in helping with the duties up there, despite it not being her job. I knew that going out to be alone was what I should do.