Chapter 87 Changes

• My alarm clock goes off at nine o'clock sharp. Despite going to bed late, I didn't want to oversleep and have Audrey arrive while I was still sleeping. I get up without thinking too much, because if I did, I would just go back to bed again. I go straight to the kitchen and make myself a good pot of coffee. While it brews, which usually takes a while, I go to the bathroom to freshen up and change my clothes. I look at myself in the mirror and see my pale, tired face. There's not much I can do about it, and I'm not going to put on makeup while I'm at home, so I sigh and brush my teeth.
• I return to the kitchen and can finally enjoy my coffee. I drink it as usual, a little sweet and with a splash of milk, as they say in my country, "cortadito." I sit down, with the small cup in my hands and my knees bent, on the old sofa and turn on the television. I'm not interested in anything that's on, but the silence overwhelms me and makes me think about things I shouldn't. I've realized that since yesterday I've been nostalgic with memories, they've been too recurrent. I take sips of my coffee and gaze off into space, not really seeing anything. I go back to yesterday's conversation with Richard, to his constant insistence that I work extra hours for him. I'm not stupid, I know that many of the girls at the club do much more than just give private dances, I also understand that they end up making double or triple what the stage gives them. But I can't do it, just the thought of giving my body to a stranger makes me nauseous. I've only had one man in my life and I intend for it to stay that way, at least until I can get out of this world where everyone wants something from you, only to discard you without a second thought once they get it.
• I finish my coffee and stay where I am. There's nothing to do around the house and I want to take advantage of the free time to at least rest my body a bit. It's not just that my job is physically demanding, rehearsals, choreography setups, and constant gym training all add up to things that tire me out.