Chapter 2 Routine

• I leave the club and walk to the parking lot, looking for my old car. It's a wreck, but it does its job, which is to take me home safely without depending on anyone. Although I have many needs, I had been saving up for a while to be able to acquire it. I couldn't keep spending half of my salary on taxis or exposing myself to the sticky fingers of some of my "colleagues" at work. For my mental health and well-being, I decided to make this investment.
• I unlock the car and open the door, throwing my bag onto the passenger seat and before getting in, I look around. It's as if I feel someone's gaze on me and I need to confirm it. My skin prickles as I become aware of the darkness surrounding me, with only a lamppost casting some light a few meters away from my position. I clench my jaw and grit my teeth to hold back the shiver that runs through me for a second. I don't trust anything or anyone in this place, and precisely because of that, I am afraid of what may await me when I am alone. It takes courage to know and fear the characteristics of your enemies, although I try to appear calm and composed while surrounded by vultures, I keep one eye open and alert to everything.
• I sigh and get into the car at once, as if I don't want to stay here to find out if it's just paranoia or not. I start the engine and drive off, heading home, heading to my daughter.
• At this hour, the streets are almost empty, only a few cars and the last bus routes. I drive with my hands resting on the steering wheel and looking ahead, attentive to every detail to avoid surprises, at night, drivers seem to go a little crazy. I take the same route as always, the most direct one, although every night having to pass by here is a reminder right in my face of all the lies I believed.
• Miranda's Jewelry covers half a block in length. Its luxurious showrooms and exclusive shop windows display even more exclusive, expensive, and elegant jewelry, on par with important and unattainable personalities for people like me. I shouldn't even care about what that recognized brand is or represents, but I do. That huge, fine, and shiny sign announcing the owner's name constantly reminds me of what prevailed over years of love and commitment. Money.
• I don't want to close my eyes, because besides dealing with traffic, I don't want the tears clouding them to fall uncontrollably, I blink, because I promised myself not to cry anymore. At this point, I shouldn't care. But it's so hard to forget what made me fall into depression for months, what led me to where I am today.
• It's inevitable to remember the beginnings, the start of a dream. What we wanted more than anything and through stumbling, we were able to achieve, or at least a part of it.
• I remember little of my life before him. He came very early, we were barely six years old when we met. What started as a pure and simple friendship from first grade of elementary school, later turned into an unlimited brotherhood, until we went a little further. He was always there and it was no surprise to anyone that a natural and unparalleled love blossomed between us over the years. By the time we reached university, we couldn't deny that we loved each other endlessly.
• As faithful childhood friends, we always shared dreams. Goals that we wrote in a letter, to then burn it in a bonfire, and make our dreams come true. The ones that I still remember today as if I were that ten-year-old girl who smiled excitedly at the prospect of what her future would hold.
• Getting a university degree. Finding our life partner (in his case, a partner, I remember we wrote it that way). Leaving the country, traveling the world.
• This last goal, over the years, gained strength. It became a need to find a place where we could truly grow, develop as professionals, and ensure a decent living. We no longer aimed to travel the world, we just wanted an opportunity to leave and try to progress.
• For reasons of responsibility, selflessness, or any other that I still cannot understand at this point, the only one who could achieve the second goal between the two of us was me. I was happy on that glorious day when, in a huge and crowded theater, I stepped onto the stage to deliver the farewell speech, as the top graduate of my year. There I realized how much my sacrifice had paid off and I wanted to show it a little further.
• We managed to leave our country and arrived in the new world, something completely different from what we knew. At first, we stayed at the house of some friends who had been here for a few years and were a bit more settled.
• I had my university degree, but it didn't help me much. Without a resume and professional experience, in this country I was just one of the many people with some education. I managed to get a job as a secretary in a medium-sized developing company, it wasn't anything great, but at least it covered my salary for the few expenses we had.
• However, our happiness only lasted two months.
• The turning point in my life can be considered contradictory. On one hand, it brought the greatest happiness I have ever experienced and the only reason I get up every day. On the other hand, it was the trigger for my life to go downhill without being able to do anything about it.
• So that I could truly know who Ernest Diaz was.