Chapter 39

• He had never ever experienced a feeling like that, that sweet but suffocating sensation in which a specific person did not leave his head, in which that person danced around the corners of his mind incessantly, in which that person appeared in his dreams. Never in all his life had he experienced a desperate and almost sickly longing to have someone close to him, that that person would not leave his side; he was Leonardo White, the most coveted bachelor of that city, and he could surely say that one of the most coveted bachelors of that country, he could have any woman he wanted, however, a woman as simple as Emma, kept him in insomnia, in constant anguish, Leonardo did not know how jealous he could become, until he found himself in danger of losing her, the most rational part of him told him that that danger was a false one, that he would not lose her, but there was a part of him - a very strong one - that screamed at him that yes, anyone else was capable of looking at her and taking her away from him. No one could ever imagine that a man who seemed to have everything could feel so empty when the eyes of the woman he had fallen in love with were on someone else.
• He did his best to prevent the jealousy he felt from suffocating Emma, but most of the time, his attempts ended in failure, they had two and a half months of relationship, and he could not risk that the first time he really wanted someone for something much more serious than just sex, that person would leave his life, or worse, be taken away by someone else. More than once he had snatched the wife of more than one partner, maybe that's where his deep-seated fear came from: he didn't want his actions to come back to him, a bitter feeling told him that it was inevitable that it would happen, but to take her away, she first had to love another man... again, a paranoid voice in his head told him that just as she had fallen in love with him, she could fall in love with any other man, imagining it filled him with a suffocating sensation, he feared, for the first time in his life, he feared that a woman would leave, so that's how it felt to be in love?
• He expected it less bitter, he didn't expect to have to be worried about having her by his side all day, that she wouldn't leave, despite Emma's soft words: "I won't leave you, Leonardo" that was not enough for him to master his fear that she would leave him for another, the jealousy that his own imagination provoked in him, was driving him mad, and he poisoned himself with them in silence, because he knew he could not run to Emma and tell her that he did not want her to go to the company, that he did not want any other man to look at her, he knew he would sound like a lunatic, although those were the thoughts that always invaded him.