Chapter 145 Selfish

• Things continued like this for a long time—a long time for me, but just a month for others. It didn’t sound like forever, it didn’t sound like an eternity, but it felt like it, it felt longer. Thirty-one more fucking days of answering to his demands, bruised lips, bruised body from stolen kisses, and long nights of wishing for death. After the incident that resulted in a miscarriage, Alpha was careful when he beat me. He made sure to avoid my stomach and torso.
• Thirty-one days of furtive fucking at a drop of a hat, forced kisses, and long nights of wishing he’d get tired of me. He liked touching and seeing me when he couldn’t sleep—which felt like it was every night—and I feared the sound of the door creaking open. I hated being forced to endure his presence and having to breathe the same air has him. Most nights when he came, he brought my sister, and she watched. He never stayed longer than the time he needed to fill me with his seed.
• I preferred it this way though. I liked that he would leave right after, I liked that he needed to be near me, but wouldn’t show me any kindness. I liked that he brought Ava with him because I was reminded how sick he was. I wouldn’t be fooled, couldn’t be fooled again. Had it not been for Nicole giving me the letter, I would have taken James’ offer and accepted his help in ending my life. I had been on the edge of a cliff and if not for that letter, I would have said yes.