Chapter 4

• Zero.
• My days haven't been perfect for a long time, but this morning when I woke up for a moment I thought maybe this would at least be a good day, but I was so epically wrong that I honestly don't even know why the hell I thought so.
• Everything was going relatively well, dad asked me to go around the campus to look at the fucking models of the seniors, some of them will be awarded with the honor of working for him and his very lucrative and of course well-known company . So I had to arrive earlier than usual, at least for me and seriously everything was going well, until that girl approached me and her name is Niko.
• Nobody in this place except my friends knows about Niko in fact, we are in New York precisely for that damn reason, so that nobody confuses me or calls me after my twin brother, I chose this city because it was his city and because dad has the company headquarters here. Things after the encounter with the girl fell apart, I had been so calm thinking that someone from our life there in Miami would never reach us here, but I was terribly wrong in thinking that.
• That girl met Niko and from the way she looked at me, she not only knew him for sure, she was also one of the many who died for him. His eyes shone in a way that I have rarely seen in a girl and that disturbed me, not only because he called me that, he seriously believed that I was him.
• As if it wasn't enough for me to have to look every day in the mirror and see his damn reflection in it? So that now there's also a girl swearing that I'm him. This is fucking crazy, coming here and making my life so far has been too easy. Well simple it has never been, but it wasn't too bad.
• My phone begins to ring inside my pocket, it must be dad, he said he would call me later to find out about the models, I sigh before putting my hand in my pocket and taking out the device that does not stop vibrating, on the screen the my father's face, I sigh once more I take a breath before answering
• - hello Dad
• – Hello son, how are you, how are you? – he asks in that cautious tone that he usually uses when he hasn't spoken to me for days
• – Good – I answer curtly, I hear him sigh and before he can add something more continuous – I saw the demos, there are very good projects, but none of the type that you would like to sponsor – I pause and the only thing I hear on the other side is silence - dad?
• - Yes, son, I'm listening - he pauses and then continues - I'm not calling you just for that - he adds regretfully - I wanted to know how you are
• – Dad seriously I'm fine, I always am, okay? – he sighs once more and then asks quietly
• – You will go home on Friday, right? I sighed because I was afraid he would ask that.
• "I don't know" he sighs again.
• – your mother seriously needs to see you son
• - Dad, I know very well that mom wants to see me, she makes it clear to me every fucking day, you know? - I pause because I have responded abruptly - I'm sorry, it's just - another pause and we both sigh - I don't want to go home - I whisper
• – Son – she then whispers my name with apprehension – Zero, your mother needs to see you, you are her only son
• - yes, dad I know I'm the only one left alive, okay, but understand for once and for the damn time that I don't want to go back there, because the hell she doesn't take a fucking plane and come here, even she would be better, here than there - he told her. I blurt out, completely losing what little control I have when we talk about the subject of going home.
• - Zero, your mother will never leave the house there are all your brothers' things - I breathe frustrated because I know very well why my mother does not leave there, while she clung to what was left of them, I ran away from there.
• - Dad - I whisper and my voice is more of a plea for him not to continue.
• – It's okay son, just think about it, okay? – He pauses and sighs – please
• – Yes, okay, I'll think about it, do you need anything else? I ask eager to end the call.
• – no, just take care and don't forget that you have
• - Yes, dad I know, I have to go to the studio tomorrow afternoon, I haven't forgotten - I add with annoyance and I hear him laugh softly
• – I know you don't like it, but please, but could you be a little nicer tomorrow? – I roll my eyes, because Tuesday is the worst day of the week.
• "Yes, dad, I'll try," I whisper.
• – Thank you son, I love you, don't forget it, okay? - I hear those words and a pang of pain settles in my chest, I keep silent and once again I hear dad sigh - we'll talk later son, have a good day - he adds in a formal tone, returning to that attitude that we both took most of weather
• - I doubt it, but thanks - and without further ado I end the call.
• I put the phone in my pocket and stop my walk, I was so focused on the call and rejecting whatever dad was willing to offer me that I walked past the parking lot, I ran my hands through my hair and breathed in frustration, my Mohawk is getting more and more Long, I should do something with it soon.
• In this I spend time, disguising my suffering and my crazy ideas of disappearing the resemblance to my twin, doing crazy haircuts, painting it different colors, piercing and tattooing my skin. Ironically, all my tattoos, no matter what they are, are related to my brothers, so I endlessly try not to look like Niko, but I always end up linking him to everything I do. I call this the curse of the twins, everything always has to do with each other, even if one of the two no longer exists.
• I return along the walk until I reach my car, a loud thunder announces that it will soon rain and for a moment I allow myself to enjoy this fucking gray day that could have been a good day. When behind me I hear someone swear under their breath and then something hits my boots, I search for what the hell collided with them and bend down to pick up a feather.
• When I look at her, a smirk breaks from my lips, who the hell in college would use a pen from Jake and the Pirates? I turn to look for the owner of the damn pen, I approach the car that is a space away and I hand the pen to the girl who is bent over picking up a lot of things from the ground
• - Here - I say without interest
• The girl raises her eyes and I curse to myself, seriously this has to be a damn joke and one too heavy, her big eyes look at me in surprise and I feel my body tense up, this girl again, the same one who confused me a while ago with Niko.
• Are you going to take it or not? – I blurt out containing the frustration and anger I feel at having to run into her again, in less than two hours.
• "Oh, yes, I'm sorry," he says, holding out one of his hands and grabbing the pen.
• I can't help taking a look at it again and without further ado he smiled, maybe now everything makes sense, this girl has feathers from Jake and the pirates, she sure is a fucking freak, obsessed with Disney cartoons.
• – You don't have to make fun of other people's things – he snaps at me.
• Her comment only increases the dislike I feel towards her, she has accumulated too many negative points in such a short time that I can say that she is the person I like the least in my fucking life and there are like a million of them.
• I look at her carefully from top to bottom, perhaps just to give her the benefit of the doubt and look for something in her attitude or physique to save, but nothing, she's a girl, simple, she has pretty eyes – which by the way are extremely expressive and I they look at each other with resentment, which is mutual - he smiled arrogantly and sneered at him
• – To make fun of something or someone I would have to care at least a little and the truth is not the case – my tone is cold, but I don't give a shit, I honestly want to get her out of my sight, so I just turn and walk back to my car
• - Idiot - I hear her say and I smile again this girl is irritating
• - I say the same - loose because I really feel that way
• – What the hell is wrong with you? – she lets out furiously.
• But I completely ignore her, my day is pretty bad already and I would hate to have to deal with a dramatic freak for spilling everything I'm thinking right now about her and her stupid attitude. I open the car and get in, without delaying anything else, start it up and pull out of the parking lot like my life hangs by a fucking thread.
• I accelerate and enter the main road, packed with cars, my mind is still on that idiot girl and her voice calling Niko a while ago, damn, I had experienced this many times while living in San Diego with mom and dad, people don't I stopped confusing myself with Niko, obviously everyone had found out about the accident, but as if moved by an act of pure sadism, they always called me Niko.
• Maroon 5 starts playing on the radio and the memory of a day like this comes to my head
• – hey Z, what do you think about taking her to dinner and then for a walk? - I roll my eyes while my twin talks non-stop about his next date with this girl who has it idiot
• - It doesn't matter where you take her brother, the important thing is that they have a good time - I comment turning in the next corner while he rubs his hands nervously
• – This is important Z, I really want it to work – he adds looking at me and smiled
• - Niko with you everything works, I don't know why this girl anguishes you so much - he laughs softly and sighs
• - Zero is perfect, I've never felt like this with any girl before - he comments and I put my eyes on him.
• - You're a fucking romantic, you embarrass me - I loose in a mocking tone to earn a punch in the arm and his laughter later
• – You 'll understand when you meet her – she comments with sparkling eyes – until when will it rain? - Ask looking through the window and smiled
• – What, can't your girl go out in the rain because she loses her charm, is she made of sugar or is she just a family of cats and doesn't like getting wet? - I start laughing fun and he rolls his eyes again
• – I would like to see you in love sometime Zero – he comments in a low voice
• – fall in love? – I say in a mocking tone – Niko, that love shit is only for good guys like you, I'm destined for fame, touring, music and love don't get along brother, not if I pretend to be one of the best – He begins to laugh and comments with that particular tone of his, which only means one thing, what he will say will be a fucking truth.
• - there you have it, you're in love, only it's not a girl - he adds looking at me funny and I laugh agreeing - it's the music - and I laugh again
• - If you put it like that - I comment accepting it and he laughs again
• - but you won't be able to escape, you're going to fall in love and even more so because you're a rockstar, one of your fans will surely fall in love with you - he laughs and smiles, that wouldn't be a bad plan.
• As I watch him turn up the volume of the song on the radio and start singing like a diva, I laugh out loud as I watch him gesticulate with his hands as if singing the song with a lot of feeling.
• - You're terrible at singing - I release him above the music and he laughs
• - I know, but you love hearing me sing - and he continues singing making me laugh again.
• When the song ends a sad smile is drawn on my lips and my eyes sting and burn from the tears they contain.
• – Shit – I whisper quickly wiping away the tear that just escaped – damn it – I say with frustration and drop a punch on the steering wheel – damn it Niko – I go back and hit the steering wheel this time with more force – Why the hell did you have to leave? gone? – loose between teeth.
• As I walk through the rain, with the memory weighing down my head and the growing lump in my throat threatening to suffocate me. I had decided to go home, but after the fucking memory and all the shit that happened today, all I want to do is forget who I am, who my brother is and that he's not here.
• I take the first exit I can get and I go to the first bar I find open, I park in front of it, breathing heavily, because it's Monday and I shouldn't be doing this, I have class tomorrow and I shouldn't do something stupid starting the semester, but once plus Niko's laughter hit my brain and I descend into the rain, not even bothering to walk in a hurry.
• By the time I walk into the bar, I'm wet enough to catch pneumonia, but I don't mind, I slump down on one of the benches in front of the bar and order a beer, the guy places it in front of me and I gulp down the whole thing. half, I put it down once more on the surface and sigh. I shouldn't be drinking, not today, but I ignore that nagging little voice that tells me to stop.
• I continue one beer after another, I don't know how long passes when a pretty girl sits next to me, smiles at me mischievously and I raise my eyes to the sky, well to the ceiling of the fucking bar and I silently thank God for being a little considerate and putting on my way to a cute girl to fuck her so i can finish forgetting about this fucking day.
• – Hello – he greets me, making everything extremely simple for me.
• - Hello beautiful - I greet her raising my beer in her direction, her eyes are lost in mine, letting me know that they are already doing their magic or their curse whatever.
• The next thing the girl and I are doing is kissing desperately in the bathroom of the bar, her hands eager to touch me are lost inside my wet sweatshirt and my very bold and curious hands are already pressing and massaging her tits.
• - You are extremely hot - he gasps in my ear and I laugh, while I bite his neck
• - Aha - I whisper, downplaying it, I just want to lose myself in his legs
• My hands search for the button of his pants but he stops me, shakes his head and with short breath whispers
• - Not here - I look at her for a moment and smiled
• - Okay - I intertwine our hands and take her out of the bathroom, I leave a few bills on the bar to pay the bill for both of us and I leave the bar, it's not raining anymore but the weather is still disgusting
• - Where we go? - ask curiously
• - To my house - loose without further ado, opening the car door and giving him space to enter
• - it's okay
• When I get in the car, his face looks at me with desire and he smiled, today seems like a fucking Friday, but no, it's Monday and I have classes tomorrow, but fuck it. I start the car and get out of there, with her caressing and kissing my neck, I drive with one hand while the other plays with her sex on the tight pants she's wearing.
• Her hands begin to massage my already very bulging erection over my jean and I watch her smiling
• – do you want to suck me? - I release without any shame and she laughs
• - now? – ask with amusement
• "I don't think you can last until I get there," I tell her arrogantly and she laughs, while her hands begin to unbutton my belt, she unbuttons my pants and zips them down without taking her eyes off me.
• For seconds I stare down the road and back to the girl, I have no idea what her name is, where she lives, or who the hell she is, but I care so little that once she has my huge member in her hands I forget that it At some point I should care.
• His hands begin to move up and down slowly, then he tilts his head forward, getting into the space between the steering wheel and my pelvis, his lips brush the tip of my cock and I close my eyes for a moment, I look back at the road. while she fully inserts it into her mouth.
• The wetness on her makes me gasp a little, her head begins to move up and down, while my free hand makes a fist with her hair and I guide her, her tongue moves caressing the shaft of my cock causing that classic tingle and she smiled
• - Ah, yes so - I encourage her to continue, I press down causing my cock to collide with the end of her throat I feel her gag and release her.
• She separates her mouth from laughing a bit, and then puts it back in her mouth, her hands join the party and she begins to move them, up and down, her tongue licking and brushing everything. I park the car in the parking lot of the building where I live while she continues sucking it as if it were the most delicious thing in the world, maybe it is, for her.
• - We're here - I gasp when his hands close with a little more force on my cock and he raises his face to see me, wipes a little saliva that is scattered on his chin and smiles
• "Great, let's finish this at your house" she smiled, while I put my erect member back inside my boxers, I fix my clothes and she laughs amused.
• He led her through the parking lot, thinking of only one thing: ramming her against one of the walls of my house and making her scream until she came. As we go up in the elevator to my apartment, the kisses are more and more intense and sexual, my hands are inside her pants touching the moisture of her sex when the doors open and she gasps.
• Still kissing her I push her into the apartment, the lights are on so I guess Kyle is already here, I share the apartment with my best friend and sometimes the Smith brothers stay. She separates from my lips and smiles mischievously, she takes a step back and looks around her.
• – Shit – he releases with surprise when he begins to see the apartment – are you some kind of rising star or something? – he asks, bringing back the memory of Niko talking about my plans for the future within the band.
• – No – I blurt out taking her by the wrist, she looks at me surprised – let's go my room is over here
• - Wait, I want to see - she says freeing herself - I've never been in a place like this - I roll my eyes and hold her again
• - You came here for a reason, if you don't, get out - I snap at her, she looks at me surprised and after a few seconds her brow furrows.
• - you are well? - Question
• - Z you arrived - I hear Kyle behind me descending the stairs that lead to the upper floor where the rooms are - and accompanied - he releases sarcastically - yes, you know that today is Monday and tomorrow we have class, right?
• I completely ignore him, while he finishes going down the stairs and passing by the girl who looks at him with desire, my best friend is a Don Juan just like me, but a focused one unlike me, the girls only occupy their ends of week, for me any day is good to fuck.
• – Your friend is very sexy – says the girl without taking her eyes off him – do you think he wants to join? - ask mischievously and laugh
• - It's Monday, there is no sex for him on Mondays - I pause while she looks at me with a frown - OR DO YOU WANT TO JOIN US KYLE? - I shout in a mocking tone, although I know his answer
• - step Z, have fun, just don't forget to set the fucking alarm clock for tomorrow - let go with annoyance and laugh
• - Idiot - I whisper as I pull the girl hard and start to climb the stairs, she laughs and comments amused
• – Is she your babysitter or something?
• - Sometimes I think the same thing - loose reluctantly, reaching the door of my room and opening it.
• Without wasting time I kiss her again, this time, with urgency and intensity, her eager hands move to the edge of my sweatshirt and she pulls it out over my head, I kiss her again without stopping walking and guide her to my bed. I remove her top as she tries to get rid of my jeans at the same time and laughs.
• After a few seconds, we are both completely naked, my hands playing inside my sex, her hands on my cock, the moans that come out of her mouth completely fill the space and she smiled. This is just the kind of thing that makes me forget about shitty days.
• I push her against the bed and open her legs to fit between them, I continue kissing her and take advantage of the closeness to brush her with my cock, I stimulate her with it while more moans and gasps come out of her mouth.
• - Do not do this to me, put it in now - gasp and laugh
• I get up and walk to the cabinet, open one of the drawers and take out a packet of condoms, she sees me from the bed smiling mischievously and desire.
• - come hurry - he urges me
• "I'm going to make you scream with pleasure as a thank you for the blowjob you gave me on the way," I say, climbing once more on the bed and positioning myself between her legs.
• "I think it's an excellent payment" he gasps when I bring my hands to his opening and touch it.
• I penetrate her with force and her body arches in response, a moan comes from her lips and she smiles, I move inside her like a madman, unleashing all the fury that I have accumulated throughout the day, she moans and gasps uncontrollably. I lean on my legs and separate hers, I hold her ankles while pumping hard inside her, her gasps are not so low anymore and her hands cling to my sheets tightly.
• I look at her face covered in sweat and the expression of pleasure and ecstasy pleases me, I continue going in and out of her, after a few minutes she runs screaming with pleasure, she smiled as I got out of her and turned her back to me.
• I take her waist and adjust it, her body trembles slightly while her agitated breathing lets me know that she still hasn't come out of the orgasm that I just gave her, but it's okay, I do this for me, not for her, I separate her buttocks and position myself again into her opening and ram into her hard, another scream breaks from her lips accompanied by a new wave of tremors.
• I don't stop, for nothing, I continue thrusting into her, I only slow down my attacks, when I move my hands over her back to her hair and pull it, to penetrate her again with force, my body tenses and a growl escapes my lips when I finally cum hard.
• Gasping, I release her hair, her body falls on my trembling sheets, she smiled seeing her like this and after a few seconds she let me fall next to her.
• "You're amazing" he gasps next to me.
• "I know" I whisper, wiping the sweat from my forehead and she laughs.
• - and a fucking egocentric - I ignore her last comment to stand up and go to the shower, before entering I stop, I turn to see her and I snap at her
• - Get dressed, I have class tomorrow and I can't be late - I pause looking for her face, she seems stunned - Call a taxi to take you wherever you live, I'll pay for it - her eyes widen like saucers and before she can I can say something I add - we came to fuck, we already did it now you can go - without giving anything else time I enter the bathroom.
• – YOU ARE A DAMN IDIOT – I hear her yell at me and I roll my eyes, great, a show.
• I enter the shower and let the water run, I get under it and feel how it soaks me, I close my eyes hoping that the emptiness that usually appears after I do anything makes its wonderful appearance, to leave me in complete darkness.