Chapter 144

• Zero.
• Once again I feel that I fail them, that I forget them, something that I simply should not and cannot do are my brothers and they were my world and I have been acting for weeks as if they had not existed. I hate feeling like this, I hate feeling like I let them down, I just can't get over them. I look for the keys to the apartment in my pocket, when I get them it's too hard for me to focus on them and opening the door is a real nightmare.
• Like everything since yesterday afternoon when I realized the betrayal of my brothers, how can I think that this girl could somehow resemble Ashley? He doesn't even like the same things when he was that age. When I raise my eyes after opening the door I see her, that disappointed expression is just another dagger for my bleeding wounds. I'd like to run to her and let her work her magic but it's obvious she's here to remind me how shitty I am.