Chapter 2 (Michael's Pov)

• The day before driving to college.
• Sometimes when I was younger, I wondered what parents meant when they said they were a nervous wreck. I understood what it meant to be nervous, I get that before every test and sometimes when I had to ask Sidney something important. You know those weird feelings in your stomach that I guess all girls called butterflies, shaking, sweaty hands, but as soon as I got past those few words on the test or spoke a few words with Sidney the nervousness went away as if it never existed.
• Well, today was different and I finally understood what it meant to be a nervous wreck. Today was the last day I will be spending at home for the nest few years. Of course, I would be back for holidays and breaks, but it would not be the same. And weird enough but my promise from all those years ago did not come to life. Me and Sidney were off to different colleges. And for the first time since we were born, we would be in different states for longer than a week or two. Usually, our parents even made deals, so we spent our holidays together. Either we were all at one house, or Sidney was going on our vacation with us.
• My Sidney. I just can not see my life without seeing her smile every day. Sure, our friendship changed a bit since we were kids, but still we made time for each other, kicked each other’s butts when needed and in everything had each other’s back. More than one relationship ended because of my friendship with Sidney, but she did not know that. I knew she would feel bad about it and would try to fic things, but somehow with each relationship that came to an end all I could feel was relief. I know I sound like a cold-hearted bastard, but I knew what my heart wanted for a long time, I also knew I could not give that to it. Sidney was the one person I was not willing to risk losing, even if I had to settle with a loveless marriage down the line. Well not completely loveless, but I knew I could never love a woman as much as I loved Sidney.
• Me and Sidney were partners in crime since we could walk, and once we went to the day care we were always in some kind of trouble, but we always stood by each other. Then school came and mean girls showed. They always tried to make Sidney look as small as possible, make her doubt herself and be self-conscious, but I made sure to let them all know, no one is to mess with my pumpkin! No one! The fact that she thought her father was dead did enough damage already, she did not need to have it rubbed in the wounds on every step. Her mom, Miss. Vicky was a gentle, loving woman, who did everything in her power to show Sidney how much she was still loved, even though we both figured out soon that she was hiding something from her. And she was this soft, nice lady, until you stepped on her toes, and the best way to do that was if you treated Sidney the wrong way. Then she unleashed the side of her that could make even a grown man cry like a baby. And believe me, once people at school saw that side, no one dared make fun of Sidney.
• But a few years ago, her father showed up one day out of nowhere and suddenly I started losing my Sidney. Sure, she was happier, but she seemed to keep her distance from me. At least at school and at daytime, but our evening “dates” were still the same so slowly, I started to breathe for those evenings where it would be just her and me.
• And tonight, would be the best of those evenings. So yes, I was a nervous wreck.
• Suddenly a sound could be heard under our tree house, and I knew Sidney was here. Just a moment later her brown curly hair showed up in my vision and a moment later those ocean blue eyes followed into my view and my lips stretched into a huge grin. But the thing I loved most about my pumpkin was the mole on the right side of her face that looked just like a heart. If you did not look close enough you could think she had a tattoo in the shape of a heart, but it was a mole.
• “What are you grinning about Michael?” she tried teasing me, but her lips betrayed her and stretched into a grin as huge as mine was, “Oh sorry, I thought it was someone else but it’s just my pumpkin.” At my words her smile slipped from her face, but I pulled her into my embrace as soon as her feet were safely planted in our tree house. Hugging was nothing weird for us. We spent many evenings in each other’s arms even though nothing romantic ever happened between us. Not that I would be against it, but I knew I could not act on my attraction to her if I want to keep her in my life for as long as we are alive, “Pumpkin, come on. You know I was kidding. I am just happy to see you. Even though this evening is bittersweet. I just wish we could still keep our evening together once we go to college.”
• She turned halfway so now her both legs were over one of mine and she clung to my t-shirt as if her life depended on that contact, “Why did we have to grow up so fast Michael? I just want to stay in this bubble we created for ourselves. I want to stay with mom and dad, but they say I need to do what is best for me and that we have a whole life of time in front of us, but you and me both know that is not true. I spent more than half of my life so far without my father and I just want to be close to him.”
• I knew what she was talking about. Since Mr. Devin came back into the picture, Sidney did everything in her power to be with her dad and make up for all the lost time and whenever I saw them together, I could see all the regret and sadness in his eyes as well when he looked at his baby girl. I did not know all the details of the story and I think not even Sidney knew everything, she was probably only told those details she needed to know so the whole many years without a father story made sense to her. But right now, I had a mission to accomplish which is to put my pumpkin at ease before we go separate ways tomorrow, “Pumpkin. Look at me.” It took her a few long heart beats to do as I asked her and when she did her tear-filled eyes were like a punch to my gut, but still I managed to give her a soft smile which I hoped would reassure her, “Nothing in this world could ever ruin what you have with your dad. You waited for him for so long and if it was in his power, he would never leave you. But you need to live your life, your parents are right. You need to make your own decisions and maybe even some mistakes. You need to be even better version of you that you already are.” I planted a soft kiss on her forehead, because I could not say the rest of the words right away. Somehow even though I meant them from the bottom of my heart, I could as well feel they were a lie in a way, “And you and me? We will always be as close as we are now. No distance can ruin that. It has always been you and me against the world and it will always stay that way pumpkin.” Another kiss to the top of her head this time and she snuggled even closer to me, “Thanks Michael. I needed to hear those words from you.”
• I just wish I would believe the second part as much as it seemed she believed me, but I could not. Like I said, I had this feeling in my gut that I was lying to the most important person in my life.