Chapter 8 Roles

• FRANCO
• I didn't want to back away. In fact, I wanted to get even closer. As Yenefer and I locked eyes, I felt an overwhelming desire to embrace her.
• But before I could, she pressed her hand against my chest and pushed me away. She opened her mouth. It seemed like she wanted to say something, but decided against it. Suddenly, thoughts of her fanatic French pursuer crossed my mind, and it bothered me.
• Did she push him away too when he tried to embrace her?
• Or was it just me she didn't want near?
• All these thoughts pushed me to the edge of my sanity, and the more I looked at Yenefer, the more I wanted to grab her, kiss her, and take her. I wanted to possess her like a husband should possess his wife.
• But then, as if the universe was conspiring against me, my phone rang.
• I cursed under my breath. I wanted to reject the call, but upon seeing Sophia's name, I answered.
• Only then did I realize how ridiculous I was being in this moment, thinking I loved Yenefer.
• What the hell was wanting Yenefer like?
• "Hello?" I loosened my tie and moved away from the bed. I took a few deep, calming breaths before responding to Sophia's call.
• "Hi, Franco. I'm not feeling well today. I'm so exhausted that I can't even walk. I'm scared, Franco. I feel like I'm about to die. Am I going to die?"
• "It's okay, Sophia. You'll be fine. You just need to rest."
• "I don't want to be alone at home."
• "Do you want to come keep me company, please?"
• As I listened to Sophia choke on her pleas over the phone, I turned my head to look at Yenefer. She had gotten up from the bed and was now organizing her clothes.
• She caught a cold last night and had been burning up since this morning, but she never complained. She moved and did what she had to do as if she wasn't sick.
• It made me wonder how she and Sophia could be so different when they were both women.
• "I have something important to take care of at the office today, and I don't think I can get out of it. Just don't overthink things, okay? Rest a little. You'll feel better after taking a nap."
• I did my best to comfort Sophia. I felt guilty for not going to her, but at the same time, I didn't want to see her today. There was just too much of her sobbing and worrying that I could handle. I didn't want to spend my free time absorbing her negative energy.
• I hung up the phone and looked at Yenefer.
• "Do you feel better?"
• "What?" She was so stunned by my question that she dropped some of her clothes on the way to her suitcase.
• "I'm asking if you feel better," I repeated, something I normally didn't do. Still, I tried to convince myself that I wasn't making concessions for Yenefer out of romantic love. She was still my family. I still cared about her.
• YENEFER
• "Do you feel better?" Franco asked.
• I didn't respond immediately because I wasn't expecting the question. I dropped some of the clothes I was packing and quickly picked them up. Sophia just called him. I should be running to her right now instead of wondering how I felt.
• After all, I was just a woman destined to be a small speck in his past. I was nothing more than a mere passerby in his infinite world.
• "I'm fine," I nodded and forced a smile.
• Franco watched me pack my clothes for a while and said nothing. Then, he finally turned around to leave. I didn't know if it was the throbbing headache that was making me angry, but after packing all my clothes, I called him and bravely asked:
• "Aren't you tired of appearing and disappearing with Sophia and me like this?"
• Franco stopped but didn't respond.
• "You love her, don't you? Then go to her and stay with her. Let's make this easy for all three of us."
• I was married to Franco for three years, but I never considered myself his true wife. I was just a bump in the road towards his true destiny: Sophia. I didn't understand why I was still trying to delay the inevitable, and it was starting to frustrate me.
• I loved him, but I didn't appreciate being chained like this.
• "Why are you in such a hurry to go through with the divorce proceedings?" Franco turned around and gave me a scornful look.
• My heart jumped to my throat, but I refused to back down. I straightened my back and replied:
• "A divorce is what you want, isn't it?"
• "Yes, but I don't want things to end between us without fulfilling my duties as a husband first," Franco responded abruptly.
• What did he mean by that?
• As an uncomfortable silence hung between us, I racked my brain for possible answers.
• Did he want us to officially consummate our marriage?
• I immediately dismissed the thought. Maybe I had misunderstood what he was trying to say. Before I could say anything else, Franco spoke again hastily.
• "Divorcing is more complicated than you think, Yenefer. Besides, Grandpa has our marriage certificate. Even if we both sign the papers right now, it won't be official instantly. It will take a long time to go through the proper process."
• Upon hearing that, I couldn't help but feel disappointed and then angry. I understood that our divorce was meant to go through the proper process. What I didn't understand was why he was dragging his feet in delivering the signed papers to initiate the process. I felt like he was trying to manipulate me.
• Was he trying to keep me in his life for as long as he could because he knew I loved him enough to cater to his every whim?
• I clenched my teeth and kept my furious gaze fixed on him. I desperately searched for a hint of mockery on his face but didn't see any.
• "Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?" Once again, he was acting like he cared about me. At this moment, he must be doing it out of guilt.
• I outright refused and looked away.
• "I'm not okay. Just go see Sophia. She's the one you should be worried about right now."
• "I haven't signed the divorce agreement yet. We're still married. I'm still obligated to take care of you while you're sick," Franco said impatiently.
• "But you don't love me, do you? I don't need your pity, Franco. We'll soon be strangers again. The best way to get along is to not bother each other. Do you understand?"
• I loved him, but not enough to subject myself to indescribable pain. I still had my pride. I didn't need Franco to feel sorry for me, and if this was the only kind of relationship I could have with him, then I would prefer to be alone.
• "I wish you and Sophia all the happiness in the world," I looked at him and gave him my sincerest good wishes.
• "That's incredibly kind of you, Yenefer," brief flashes of pain and anger in Franco's eyes. His tone sounded sarcastic, but I thought it was because many people had been telling him what to do lately and he was fed up with it. After all, he was a dominant man and didn't like giving up control, especially over his personal affairs.
• "I'm going back to bed. I'm tired. You should go with Sophia," without waiting for Franco's response, I crawled under the sheets and closed my eyes.