Chapter 44

• Zayne
• I’m driving to the house. We leave tomorrow, so I figure I would drive up tonight. I’m a bit nervous, and my heartbeat has been on the fritz today for some reason, ok for one reason, and her name is Maija. I roll down my window, hoping the fresh air will calm my beating heart, and turn on the radio, hoping to distract my mind. The girl who broke my heart is just thirty minutes away, and I seem to be very aware of that.
• “You don’t love anymore,” I mumble to myself, trying to quell my pounding heart. My nerves ease a bit as I tell myself again and again that I’m no longer in love with her. I relax a little in my seat as the next song plays on the radio—James Arthur’s “Empty Space.” The song's first verse talks about not caring about a girl he must have been in love with, which is surprisingly similar to my situation. The last verse hits when he says he is probably lying to himself, and that realization hits me like a brick. The nerves that went away crash through me again, but I don’t rush to change the station as I did in the past when I had the accident. Instead, I let the song play out while listening solemnly until it changes. The song shakes me to my core, and I start having second thoughts about seeing her again. I sigh; maybe I will be fine after a drink, I think, so I pull off the road to the first bar I see.