Chapter 8 Explanation

• Alayah’s p.o.v.
• “My name is Alayah and she is my Mother.” I say as I look at him and I can see the shock in his eyes.
• “My Father was the rightful Beta to this Pack, but due to circumstances he passed the position to his younger Brother. My Father died in a Rogue attack when he was protecting Luna Vicky, he died without knowing his Mate was with Pup.” I continue and I see tears running my Mother’s face, it is the first time in my life I see her cry at the mention of Dad.
• “I am sorry, I never meant for you to get hurt. I know I hurt you with how I dealt with Maxwell’s death, I know I hurt my family as well and I know I might have damaged our bond to badly.
• When I found out I was pregnant with you I was torn in two, a part of me was grateful to still have a piece of your Father and the other part was worried about you looking like him.
• I was so conflicted during my pregnancy that Mom had to pull me through it, I am not sure what would have happened if she hadn’t.
• After you were born I was happy, you had your Father’s eyes and it was one of his features I loved about him.
• For a long time I thought I could be happy again, that I could raise you with the memory of your Father somewhere in the back of my mind.
• I didn’t know that looking at you would eventually become to painful, the older you got the more you started to look and act like your Father and it became harder by the day to be near you.
• I think I could have lived with the fact that you inherited his hair and eye color, but you became an exact copy of your Father.
• The way you would look, the things you would say and the way you carried yourself. It was as if I saw your Father every moment of every day and each time I would get pulled back to that day, to see him die all over again.” She whispers and I hear Alpha Randell gasp at her admittion she had been there that day.
• “When you were fifteen I started getting help, but I was stubborn and thought I could deal with seeing you every day. I should have listened to my counselor and confided in Mom that I needed time away from you to heal myself, it took me almost two years to face the fact I could never heal if I stayed.
• It was the hardest decision I ever had to make, but I knew I needed to get better myself before I could build a relationship with you.
• I left you behind with the knowledge that Mom would look after you, she raised you and she would do anything to keep you safe.
• When I met Xavier I had just come to terms with Maxwell’s death and for the first time in years I felt I was allowed to be happy again, but I couldn’t tell him about you or the way I treated you.
• I hate to admit it, but I think I was more of a Mother to Xavier’s Pups than I ever was to you and I am really sorry about that.” My Mother says and I am not sure if I should be angry or relieved after hearing her explanation.
• I go over every piece of information with the knowledge I have from my classes and even though I want to be angry with her I know she made the right decision in the end, she needed to heal before she could ever become my Mother.
• “I am not going to pretend that I know or understand what you went through, I can’t feel what you felt all those years and I know it is something I will never be able to feel or understand.
• You hurt me by disappearing every single time, I grew up with only half of my family in my life and I know it is because of circumstances I had no control over that it happened.
• Everyone deals with grief in their own way and you chose the worst way possible, but I understand it was the only way for you to deal with it. I am glad you sought help and that you found happiness again, it is what you needed to keep healing.
• What I would like to know is why you didn’t come to see me sooner?” I ask and I keep looking at her as I wait for her to answer me.
• “Even though I know it might never have happened, I was waiting for the perfect time to walk back into your life. The past four years have been a reminder every day that I miss my Daughter, that I miss her bright eyes looking at me with hope after she told me about school and that I miss her blunt comments to everything she hears around her.
• When Xavier told me we would merge with Crimson Moon Pack, I knew it was the Goddess’ way to tell me that my time was up and that I had to make a decision. Wait for the bomb to drop after the merger or to come clean before the merger, I chose to come clean before the merger because I didn’t want to cause any problems.” Mom says and I know Topaz and I will allow her to be a part of our lives, just not sure what that might look like.
• “I am willing to build a relationship with you and I would like to get Xavier and his Sons, after all I will be working closely with his youngest Son in the future.
• However, I want you to tell Grandma and Uncle Rex what you told me, they deserve to hear this as much as I did.” I tell her and I see her nod her head at my demand. Xavier apologizes for growling at me and I tell him next time he will find out I am definitely my Father’s daughter.
• After telling Mom where she can find Grandma and Uncle Rex I head back to my office, I will be buried in work for the next few weeks and I want to get as much out of the way as quickly as I can.