Chapter 22

• XanderI feel like a bastard. I've been avoiding Haley since we slept together and I know she doesn’t deserve that. I didn’t plan to. It just happened. I didn’t know how to face her so I was out the house by 5am the next morning and it just kept snowballing after that. I know I have to face her at some point but that night we spent together after the wedding, laughing over takeout with the dogs in the background... it felt too real... and too damn right. This isn’t meant to feel right. I didn’t sign up for a real marriage and I know it’s not Hayley’s fault. She wasn’t trying to be clingy or any of that shit. In fact she was doing her best to give me a way out and that in itself made me angry for her because she deserves so much better than this shit. I actually want to see her. I spend half the fucking night watching her sleep. I have to stop myself from reaching out and touching her. I’m sleep deprived and going out of my fucking mind. Even the guys have been looking at me funny. I've been pitching up at their houses instead of the other way around. They like Hayley too, they have told me as much. The whole world fucking likes Hayley. What am I going to do? Just then my phone rings and Amelia’s number flashes across my screen. I dated her on and off over a year ago. I’m about to press ignore when I press answer instead. I need to get my mind of Hayley. “Hi” I answer“So I have find out in the tabloids that you’ve gotten married?” “Well hello to you too, Amelia. I’m good thanks for asking”. “Cut the bullshit Xander. Just months ago you tell me you’re not ready for commitment only to turn my back and you’re MARRIED to someone else?!” she screams into the phone. “Months ago is actually well over a year ago Amelia and I told you from the beginning I wasn’t interested in a relationship with you. You where fine with it. If I hadn’t broken up with you, you would still be okay with our no strings attached fucking”“Well maybe I’m still okay with no strings attached fucking as you put it.” “Did I hear you right? I just got married and you want me to cheat on my wife?” She’s quiet for a minute, “We were always good together Xander. This doesn’t have to change things. My doors always open to you. Day or night.” “Look Amelia. I know this must be hard for you. That it must hurt. I truly am sorry for that. I never set out to hurt you". “I know that Xander.” “I’m not going to cheat on my wife but I am still your friend. Your platonic friend, Amelia.” When I decided I’m not cheating on the wife I’m not actually married to, I’m not exactly sure. “Well if you change your mind....” “I won’t Amelia. Look I got to go now. Take care of yourself ok. Bye.” I hang up before she can reply because I know this conversation will never end other wise. A minute later my phone beeps. I open my Whatsapp to a complete nude of Amelia. Her fingers over her pussy and a look of ecstasy on her face, with a caption “My offer still stands.” WWell fuck this shit. I press delete and block her on Whatsapp. To think that pic didn’t even turn me on. Right now I only have eyes for one women. The one women I can’t touch. My phone rings again, I’m about to ignore it thinking it must be Amelia when I decide to look at the screen at the last minute and see Hayley’s name instead of Amelia’s. I call her back immediately, grateful for an excuse to hear her voice. “Hello”“Hey Hayley, sorry I missed your call". “Its ok. I didn’t mean to disturb you. Erm, your Gran wasn’t feeling too well today so I invited her to supper. Being around us always makes her happy. I know I have no right to ask but could you please try to come home in time for supper today?” “You always have my Gran’s best interests at heart Hayley. You have every right to ask whatever you want. I'll be there.” I can hear the smile in her voice as she says, “Thanks Xander. I'll see you later” and I feel even worse for the way I’ve been treating her. I’m about to leave the office a few hours later, when Gran calls me. “Xander honey. Hayley’s had a car breakdown and the stubborn girl is waiting in the dark on the side of the road for a tow truck. She didn’t want to worry you but you’re her husband, that’s just crazy, you know it’s not safe this time of night for a women on her own". “Thanks for letting me know gran", I say fuming. ““I'll sort it out.” I’m dialing Hayley’s number the moment I hang up with Gran. “Hi?” she answers hesitantly. “Why the fuck would you not call me when you have a break down?” I say lethally into the phone. “Did Gran tell you? I'm fine Xander. I called the tow truck. I'll be fine.” I have to keep myself from screaming at her, “Where are you?” I ask quietly. She’s quiet a second before answering, “Huxley Road.” “Stay in the car. Lock the doors and don’t open for anyone, not even for the tow truck guys. I’ll be there now.” “That’s not necessary Xander... I'm ok...”“Hayley just stay on the fucking phone and lock the fucking doors. Do I make myself clear?” “You don’t get to speak to me like that.” “Well you don’t get to act like a fucking idiot and play with your life but that hasn’t stopped you has it? I'm your fucking husband and I’m the last one to know you’re in trouble. What the fuck Hayley?” “Well technically you’re not really my husband and I am not your responsibility.” She says stubbornly. “That’s not what that piece of paper you signed says Hayley and its not what you said when you were screaming my name on our wedding night.” “I can’t believe you said that. You’ve been avoiding me for weeks and now all of a sudden I’m your wife and your responsibility? You are the last person I would call, I am nothing but a burden to you and as for me screaming your fucking name, it will never happen again you asshole. It obviously meant nothing all to you if your disappearance is anything to by!” I’ve never heard her swear before and I want to laugh. Actually, I have heard her swear... just before she climaxed. Fuck, how did I screw this up so badly? “I've been an asshole. I know. I'm sorry. Could you please just listen to me. Stay on the phone and lock the doors. Please babe.” I say defeated. She doesn’t say anything for a whole two minutes, but I can hear her heavy breathing on the other end of the line before she finally says, “Okay.”