Chapter 10 Breaking Point

• I didn’t know how long I had been running, but it didn’t matter anymore. My feet were pounding the dirt beneath me, my body moving on autopilot as my mind spiraled into a place I couldn’t escape. The trees blurred around me, and the wind whipped past my face like it was trying to erase the tears that kept falling. But no matter how hard I tried to run from it, the pain followed. The pain of Nicolai’s rejection—again. It was suffocating, crushing. The words he had spoken burned into my heart, leaving a scar I wasn’t sure would ever heal.
• “I don’t want you,” he said, his voice cold, indifferent. The same words as before. The same cruel rejection.
• The weight of it all was too much to bear. Every breath felt labored, as if my lungs were full of lead. My wolf, the part of me that had once felt strong and powerful, refused to answer my calls. I could feel her inside me, but she was silent. She wasn’t answering. She wasn’t coming. Maybe she was rejecting me too.
• Tears blurred my vision as I pushed harder, my legs aching with the effort. But none of it mattered. The world was too heavy, and I couldn’t keep carrying it. I thought about my mother. The image of her face—so strong, so protective—flashed before my eyes. She would have known what to do. She would have been there for me, guiding me, telling me everything would be okay. But she was gone. And I was alone. Alone in a world that had no place for me.
• The pain in my chest, the hollow ache, was overwhelming. The thought of being banned from the pack, of being cast out forever, made everything worse. I had no home, no family, no one. I was nothing.
• The world around me felt like it was closing in, the trees too thick, the sky too dark. I wanted to scream, to let it all out, but no sound came. My body felt numb, as if I had been running for hours, maybe days. I wasn’t sure anymore. It was as if time had stopped, and all that remained was the pain. The endless, suffocating pain.
• I stumbled through the woods, the ground uneven beneath my feet. I had no direction, no purpose. I wasn’t running toward anything. I was just running away—from the rejection, from the loneliness, from the weight of my life. I didn’t know how to escape it. I didn’t know how to keep going.
• Then, without realizing it, I came to a halt.
• I stood there, frozen, my body trembling, as I stared at the cliff before me. The jagged rocks stretched out below, the air sharp and cold against my skin. The wind howled around me, and for a moment, all I could hear was the pounding of my own heart. My breath hitched in my throat as I took in the scene before me.
• I could see myself falling. The thought flashed in my mind so quickly that it almost scared me. How easy it would be to take that step forward, to let go of the pain and the burden. I could feel the rush of the wind in my hair, the ground slipping away beneath me. Maybe it would all be over. Maybe then I wouldn’t have to feel any more. No more rejection. No more loneliness. No more pain.
• I closed my eyes, letting the thought swirl around my mind. How would it feel to just let go? How much easier would it be to end it all?
• But as I stood there, on the edge, ready to lose myself to the darkness, a voice broke through the fog in my mind.
• A voice that shook me to my core.
• "Amelia, stop!"
• I froze, my breath catching in my throat. The voice cut through the fog of my thoughts like a knife, sharp and urgent. My eyes snapped open, and I saw Bea standing behind me, her face pale, her eyes wide with fear.
• “Bea,” I whispered, my voice trembling. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”
• She took a cautious step toward me, her gaze never leaving the edge of the cliff. “Don’t,” she said softly, her voice breaking. “Don’t do this. You’re worth so much more than this. You don’t have to go through it alone.”
• I shook my head, the tears finally breaking free and streaming down my face. “I can’t do it anymore, Bea. I can’t keep pretending like it’s all going to be okay when everything is falling apart. Nicolai—he’s going to banish me, and the pack—they all hate me. No one cares. I can’t take it.”
• Bea closed the distance between us, her arms wrapping around me in a tight hug, pulling me away from the ledge. I didn’t resist. I needed her. I needed someone, anyone, to remind me that I wasn’t completely alone. She held me there for a long moment, and I clung to her like a lifeline.
• “I care,” she whispered into my hair. “You’re not alone, Amelia. You never have been. I’m here, and I’ll always be here for you.”
• I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to hold myself together, trying to believe her. The weight of Nicolai’s rejection, of the bond still pulling at me, was unbearable. But Bea’s words, her presence, they were the only things that made me feel like maybe there was still something worth fighting for.
• “I don’t know what to do,” I murmured, my voice shaky. “I can still feel him, Bea. I can still feel the bond, and it’s like it’s tearing me apart from the inside out. I don’t know how to fight it. I don’t even want to.”
• Bea pulled back slightly, enough to look me in the eyes. “You don’t have to fight it alone, Amelia. I’m not going anywhere. And neither is the bond. But that doesn’t mean you have to let it destroy you.”
• I wiped at my tears, sniffling as I tried to compose myself. “But how do I live with it? How do I live with him still in my life when he doesn’t want me? When I’m nothing to him?”
• “You’re more than that,” Bea said, her voice fierce now, a strength in her words that I wasn’t sure I had. “Nicolai might not want you, but that doesn’t mean you’re worthless. It doesn’t mean you’re nothing. You’ve got a future ahead of you, a future where you don’t have to depend on anyone who treats you like that. You’ve got a family. Me. You’re not alone, Amelia.”
• I closed my eyes again, leaning into her embrace. The tears continued to fall, but they felt different now. They were no longer just the weight of my sorrow. They were the release of all the pent-up fear and frustration that had been building inside me for so long.
• “I’m scared,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know if I can survive it.”
• “You don’t have to fix it all today,” Bea said softly, brushing a strand of hair from my face. “Just take it one day at a time. And when it gets too hard, I’ll be here. I’ll always be here.”
• I nodded, feeling the truth of her words settle in my chest. The bond, the pain, the loss—I couldn’t erase it, couldn’t make it go away. But maybe, just maybe, I didn’t have to face it alone.
• I stepped away from the ledge, my feet shaky beneath me, but I stood tall. There was still a long road ahead, a road I didn’t know if I was strong enough to walk. But for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel qui
• te as alone.
• And maybe, just maybe, that was enough to get me through another day.