Chapter 4

• “We are having a baby,” Irene said with a grin, wrapping her hand around Jackson’s waist and leaning against him. They looked like a picture-perfect couple. My jaw hurt from how hard I ground my teeth.
• “Rena, can you give us a minute?” Jackson asked, stroking her hair. I watched everything with wide eyes and a sharp pain in my chest.
• A part of me refused to believe all this was happening. It was almost impossible for me to come to terms with. This was my mate of five years, a man I loved with every fibre of my being, a man I believed would love me forever – he was holding another woman, expecting a child with another woman!
• “I – but – but I don’t want to.” Irene stomped her foot, pouting. Her eyes filled with tears and my mate leaned down to kiss her lips. Right in my presence.
• “It will only take a short time, I promise. Please, baby,” he pleaded and I blinked, once and then again, disbelief, anger and anguish warring inside me. Irene gave me a secret smile before she pouted again and then stormed up the stairs.
• “Jackson, what is this? What is happening? What –“ My mind was a mess.
• Irene was pregnant for Jackson? I tried touching my belly but my hands had grown weak. My whole body had become weak. I slumped into my seat and closed my eyes tightly.
• It was all over. The one thing I was running away from without even admitting to myself that I was running from it had finally happened. My mate chose another woman. Our relationship – everything I had dedicated myself to for the last five years was all for nought. It was all over.
• Tears gathered in my eyes but they did not fall. My hands shook so I clenched them into fists. A sob started in my throat. Everything I had gone through in the past few months flashed through my mind. The visits to the doctors, the tests, the visits to the temple, the donations, the concoctions, the deer’s blood, everything played in my head one after the other. Despite all I did, despite how I prayed and cried and hoped, everything was in vain. My tears were in vain. Everything.
• “We could have – We could have adopted a baby,” I choked out, my eyes tightly shut and my fists clenched beside me.
• “Don’t be ridiculous,” Jackson said, his tone soft, reminding me of the man he once was – the man I fell in love with. “I’m sorry to inform you like this,” he said.
• The worst part was how sorry he sounded. I heard the remorse in his voice and felt his sorrow pouring into me through our flimsy mate bond.
• “Of all the women in the world – all the women you could have cheated on me with – why her?” I opened my eyes and he flinched. “Why would you betray me like this?”
• “Is that what you are concerned about right now?” He asked avoiding my gaze.
• “I am concerned about a lot of things,” I admitted. “I have a lot of questions but answer this. Why her?”
• Although I called Irene my sister, she was, in actuality, my stepsister. My mother died when I was eight and a few months later, my father brought in another woman. The woman came with Irene.
• A year older than me, I realized early that Irene was in competition with me. She never tried to hide it. If I had something, she wanted it. My father’s attention? It had to be hers. My dolls? Also hers. My room? Hers. Even the toys my mother bought me before she passed ended up in her possession. She had an unspoken rivalry with me and no matter how I tried to ignore her, she always found a way to insert herself into my life. Janet and I used to joke about Irene having an eye disease that made her go after everything she saw me with. There was nothing funny about her actions now.
• “It just – It just happened,” Jackson said, raking a hand through his hair. “It’s not like I planned it. She was there and –“ He trailed off and I pursed my lips.
• Did I feel better that he had not purposely pursued her? Knowing Irene, she must have gone after him to hurt me but it changed nothing. My mate cheated on me. There was no worse betrayal than this.
• “We swore to each other – we swore to each other and you betray me like this?” I scrubbed my palms down my face. Anger and frustration burned inside me. Anguish, fear and wrath hit me from different angles.
• “I am sorry. You don’t deserve any of this but – it happened,” Jackson said with pity in his voice. The anger in my guts flared.
• “I don’t deserve any of this but you put me through all this! How long, huh? How long have you been screwing that bitch?”
• “Channy –“ I shoved his shoulder as he moved closer to me.
• “No, I’ve become Chantelle to you!” I hated how the tears I kept at bay spilt down my cheeks, slowly, then in a cascade with each passing second. “I did everything! Everything for you! I almost ruined my life trying to be everything you wanted and this is how you repay me?” I poked his shoulder. “Everything, Jackson, I gave up everything because I loved you. I love you!”
• “I love you – I loved you – I don’t know anymore, Channy. You gotta understand, I am almost thirty. I need a child to succeed me –“ He grabbed my hand as I tried poking his shoulder again.
• I didn’t mean to. It had never occurred to me to hit my mate but in that moment, my palm connected with his cheek and he lost it.
• “Did I not try my best? Why would you – why would you –“ I buried my face in my palms as I burst into loud sobs. I was so preoccupied with my emotions that I did not notice the air turn frigid.
• “Did you just hit me?” I heard a low growl that made me raise my head. I met the eyes of an Alpha that had me shrinking back.
• “I – “ I flinched as his hand wrapped around my neck.
• “How dare you hit me?” He growled, his eyes still blazing the red of his wolf. My wolf gnashed her teeth as he squeezed. “How dare you disrespect me?”
• “Jackson,” I choked out, clawing at his hand.
• “Did I make you barren? For five years, I kept a man beside me yet you have the audacity to complain? What did you do for me? You could not even perform the most basic function of a woman and you want to bitch?” He put his face closer to mine and growled, his breath on my face and his anger blazing. “Your only duty as my Luna was to give me pups but for five years you failed yet you want to talk to me about trying your best?”
• “Jackson, I am your mate,” I reminded him, drawing blood from his hand wrapped around my neck as I clawed at him.
• “Not anymore,” he answered. “I cannot continue to keep an empty woman beside me out of pity.” His hand fell from my neck and I massaged the reddened area. “It took Irene one day to do what you could not in five years. If you are so curious, she’s three months pregnant,” he spat. “I put up with a lot for you. I respected you even if you are not worthy of respect.” He stood and glared down at me. “Irene is pregnant with my child so she is the only person worthy of standing beside me, not a board like you. We will break this curse called a mate bond tomorrow.”
• He left me with those parting words. He left me to join Irene. Left alone in the living room, I bawled my eyes out. I tried to come up with a plan, tried to think of what to do but nothing came to mind.
• Irene was pregnant. Three months pregnant. I thought back to when I noticed him pulling away from me, when I became desperate to have a child to get his attention back on me. At that time, I should have known something was wrong. I should have known but I chose to be blind, desperately looking for a means to conceive for a man who was done with me already. I laughed through my tears, the sound broken and wretched.
• I picked up my phone, feeling my world caving in on itself. Scrolling through my contacts, I looked for a name to click on, a friend to share this crushing burden with. My hands stopped over Janet’s and my sobs grew louder.
• She knew.
• Janet knew what was happening while I called her crying all the time.
• The realization that I had no one in my corner made me sob harder. I bawled my eyes out for goddess knew how long but then I picked myself up.
• I was a crier but I did not cry for long. I would not cry for long. Not for a man who made it clear my tears were worth nothing.